Darkness vs. Light

I should be sleeping right now. It's still dark outside. I woke up way too early.

I was dreaming again. This dream was really, really dark. It didn't scare me, exactly, it was just unsettling and depressing. When I woke up, I kinda made a weird face and pushed it off, but as soon as I closed my eyes to try to go back to sleep, it was all I could see. I didn't want to see that anymore.

So I tried thinking of happy things, colorful things, bright things, and lots of light. But it wasn't working. I still saw dark things whenever I closed my eyes. I wanted light. So I started singing about God in an attempt to bring in light. "Starspin" by downhere was the first song that popped into my head. It didn't work either.

So I resigned myself to the fact that I was probably going to have to get up. Because I wasn't about to lay there and try to go to sleep in that darkness again.

I sat up and reached over and grabbed my Bible. Typically the first thing I do in the morning is read the Bible, so this wasn't unusual. But it seemed much more imperative today than it usually does. So I read and I asked God to fill my head with light, or Him in otherwords.

And now here I am. The dark isn't gone yet, but with my eyes open it's only in the background. And I pray that it will continue to fade as the day passes. And to ensure that that happens, I intend to focus on and surround myself with good things. And I'm going to see downhere tonight, so that's perfect. Their lyrics always keep God as the focus and that's what I need today.