Christmas and the time spent with my family and friends was grand, but I'm so happy to be home! We got back last night and the drive wasn't so bad despite the weather and the numerous times we stopped along the way. For me, the drive's not usually bad. I've made the 7 hour trip so many times, it's not really a big deal. But every once in a while it seems harsher than normal. Thankfully this one was not, although there was every indication that the contrary would be true.
Like I said, I had a grand time. I always love this time of year. Mostly because I get to hang out with my family. It's one of the only times that I really get to see everybody. I love my family more and more all the time.
As unimportant as it is in the grand scheme of things, one can't talk about Christmas and withhold information about gifts. To be quite honest, this year was more lacking in the gift department than it has been in the past. My parents didn't buy me, nor my brothers, anything at all. There just wasn't enough money. I didn't buy anything for them either. We did as a family buy some gifts for other members of our family. We bought ten total to be exact. All very inexpensive, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to do even that. So all of the gifts I received were from members of my extended family and I got one from a friend. But times are tough for more than just me and my family. So what I did get wasn't anything spectacular or grandiose. But I'm not usually thrilled by spectacular or grandiose things, so that's a-okay. I ended up getting a total of five books, all ones that I have already read and one that I already own. So I don't have anything new to read, but I love all of them and was thrilled to receive them. I don't think I've ever gotten so many books for Christmas before. Which is odd, because everyone knows I like to read, so every time they seem to be having trouble deciding what to get me, they should just buy a book instead of worrying about it. Anyway, that was the biggest highlight out of the gifts. In the past, I've gotten a good amount of money, but not this year. Like I said, times are tough.
I really hope that didn't sound like I was complaining. I wasn't at all. I don't need gifts to have Christmas. The only things that made me sad in the whole situation were 1.) I wasn't able to buy anything for anybody and 2.) I know my parents didn't like the fact that they couldn't buy their children anything. It's not like were putting pressure on them to get us anything (none of us felt bad about it at all), but as a parent I'm sure that was disappointing.
I really wanted to be able to make gifts for people this year because that is much more economical and much more meaningful in my opinion, but with school that just wasn't going to happen. Maybe if I start planning earlier this year, and work at it over the course of the whole year and not wait to cram everything in all at once, I will actually be able to do that. It's a lofty ideal, that may not be so lofty if I actually put my mind to it.
That's about it as far as Christmasy things go. Next I feel compelled to give you a follow-up on my last two posts. While I was away, God helped me to understand some of what was going on and revealed some things to me. But I will put that in another post. I have a feeling it will be rather lengthy. Said post to come soon. How soon, I'm not sure. But you can be on the lookout.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
And so it continues...
So...it happened again last night. Only this time I was mostly just sobbing. The majority of the erratic behavior I previously mentioned was absent.
This has all left me in a state of puzzlement. Why is this happening? Crying is not foreign, but crying this much, this violently, two nights in a row, is. That normally indicates that something is wrong.
So I'm trying to figure out what's wrong. If there even is something wrong. I'm praying that God will show me. Because I just don't know.
This has all left me in a state of puzzlement. Why is this happening? Crying is not foreign, but crying this much, this violently, two nights in a row, is. That normally indicates that something is wrong.
So I'm trying to figure out what's wrong. If there even is something wrong. I'm praying that God will show me. Because I just don't know.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Downhere bad for your health?
It may not be for you, but I wonder sometimes if it isn't for me.
This night has turned out to be very different than I anticipated that it would be. At about 10:00 I came up to my room and got ready for bed. Then I got out my Bible and read like I do every night. At probably about 10:15, 10:20, I was just about to get in bed for the night and then my brother walked in, carrying his laptop. I had asked him earlier if he would mind me borrowing it in the middle of the night if I couldn't go to sleep and wanted something to do. So instead of making me go downstairs and get it in the middle of the night, he just brought it up here to save me the trouble. So then, we got started talking. We tend to get chatty when we're together. Especially at night, for some reason. Thus, about an hour later, we finally said all our good nights and he left the room. So much for me trying to go to bed before 10:30.
So, I was pretty hyped up at that point. Our conversation had gotten my brain turned back on. We talked about everything from Pirates of the Caribbean to Harry Potter, Winnie-the-Pooh, the Bible, German, downhere, and Lord of the Rings. Therefore I decided to go ahead and pull out his laptop. I surfed around for a while and messed around on iTunes a little bit and at about 1:30 I decided to do some writing. I have a notebook that I am trying to fill up with songs. Songs that mean a lot to me. I have three in there so far and what I do is write down the lyrics and then write down everything that I can find to say about it. Which thus far has been pages upon pages. I've been so busy that it's been a while since I've done one. So I pulled out my list that I have of songs to put in there and went to pick one. I figured that I probably wouldn't get much written in the way of my thoughts (it does take me quite a while to write those pages and pages) but I at least wanted to get the lyrics down to something. And I did that. I picked All At War, by none other than downhere.
When I write these things down, I listen to the song as I'm doing it. It's been a while since I really listened to downhere. So after I got the lyrics down and put my pen and paper aside, I had a real hankering to listen to the whole album. And that's what I decided to do. It was about 2:00 at this point. I turned on Ending Is Beginning, shut the laptop beside me on the bed, and lied down.
I really don't know what came over me. Maybe I was emotional from listening to All At War. I did start crying when I was listening to it. Maybe it had been so long since I had really listened to them that it hit me harder than normal. Maybe I've just been so busy that I needed to listen to my favorite band. Maybe God was trying to get my attention or trying to tell me something. Maybe it was a combination of all of those things.
Whatever it was, I lost it as soon as the first song started. And I will try my best to explain what I mean by that statement, but I'm sure I won't explain it well enough. I was sobbing. I was having trouble breathing, and therefore gasping for air. I was shaking. I was mouthing every word, unable to actually sing because of my tears and lack of breath. I was covering my face. I was running my hands through my hair. I was pulling my hair. I was holding my head. I was dancing. I was shaking my head, like a little kid displaying obvious dislike for something. I was groaning. I was protesting. I was lying immobile.
The first four things were the only things I really did consistently. All the rest I was cycling through. I'm sure I looked like I was in a lot of pain. Possibly like I was being tortured. And I may have even looked like I was possessed because everything I was doing was so schizophrenic. Is she dancing? Wait, her face is contorted. She can't be dancing. And there, she's beating her fists. But it looks like she's dancing again. And was that a grief smile that graced her mouth? She looks like she's trying to sing, but whatever it is must be pretty awful to make her do this. What's wrong with her?
I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't normally do this kind of thing. I don't normally display a lot of emotion, to the point that I often hide a lot of personality because of that. I'm not the type to go insane. Not usually. The only other times I have done this have been when I was listening to particulary incredible music, such as Ending Is Beginning and when I have had profound encounters with God. And I must say, that the two are most often coinciding.
For anyone who has heard this album, you know how phenomenal it is. And perhaps you too can relate to some of what I have shared.
I tried to describe what I was doing and what I looked like, but there is no describing how I felt. I'm sure I looked like I was in pain, because I was overwhelmed. And I was overwhelmed by how amazing everything was. How amazing the music was. How amazing the lyrics were. How amazing God is.
Hope Is Rising has always been the one song on that album that has made my cry the most. The vast majority of times I have listened to it, I have cried. And I thought that I had cried pretty hard a few times. But never before have I cried when listening to that song as much and as hard as I did tonight. That was the one that had me lying immobile, except for the convulsions of me sobbing so much and gasping for air. I tried to lift my arms up and few times and I never did make it very far, so I eventually gave up.
I mentioned protesting in that bizarre list up there. Here's what I meant by that. In My Last Amen, toward the end there is a part where Marc is oohing, Jason jumps in and says "a little closer" and they do a half chorus and finish out the song...well, when Jason says that line, "a little closer," in all of his low, beautiful, amazingness, it gets me every time I hear it. That is my favorite part. Well, I knew it was coming and I knew it was going to get to me more than usual and add to the sobbing and gasping, so right before he said it, I actually said (in between sobs), "Jason, don't do that." And then later, during Beggar Who Gives Alms, Marc was oohing again, only in this song it's so pretty, and he's up so high, and it really gets to me, too, so I said, "Don't do it, Marc." That's just two examples. I had other statements of protest mixed in here and there. And as I'm saying this, I know how ridiculous it sounds. I actually feel compelled to laugh at myself. But there was nothing particularly funny in any of those moments. Just beauty that was so striking it was painful.
As much as I have talked about them, if you haven't listened to downhere yet, you should. Their new album, Ending Is Beginning, is a good place to start. Any album is a good place to start, really. If you're not enamored from the first listen, just give it time. They may never appeal to or affect you as much as they do me, but you will like them at least. I'm pretty certain that I can guarantee that.
And despite how awake I was earlier, I am very tired now. I spent nearly an hour consistently sobbing, every muscle contracting with each gasp for breath. Not to mention all of the insane moving that I did. On top of that, it is now 5:00 AM. I need to go to sleep. Therefore forgive me if this post does not make a lot of sense. The subject matter is strange anyway and it doesn't help that my brain is shutting down.
So, downhere may not be bad for year health, but maybe you can see why I might wonder about mine. At the very least, I do know that it is time consuming.
This night has turned out to be very different than I anticipated that it would be. At about 10:00 I came up to my room and got ready for bed. Then I got out my Bible and read like I do every night. At probably about 10:15, 10:20, I was just about to get in bed for the night and then my brother walked in, carrying his laptop. I had asked him earlier if he would mind me borrowing it in the middle of the night if I couldn't go to sleep and wanted something to do. So instead of making me go downstairs and get it in the middle of the night, he just brought it up here to save me the trouble. So then, we got started talking. We tend to get chatty when we're together. Especially at night, for some reason. Thus, about an hour later, we finally said all our good nights and he left the room. So much for me trying to go to bed before 10:30.
So, I was pretty hyped up at that point. Our conversation had gotten my brain turned back on. We talked about everything from Pirates of the Caribbean to Harry Potter, Winnie-the-Pooh, the Bible, German, downhere, and Lord of the Rings. Therefore I decided to go ahead and pull out his laptop. I surfed around for a while and messed around on iTunes a little bit and at about 1:30 I decided to do some writing. I have a notebook that I am trying to fill up with songs. Songs that mean a lot to me. I have three in there so far and what I do is write down the lyrics and then write down everything that I can find to say about it. Which thus far has been pages upon pages. I've been so busy that it's been a while since I've done one. So I pulled out my list that I have of songs to put in there and went to pick one. I figured that I probably wouldn't get much written in the way of my thoughts (it does take me quite a while to write those pages and pages) but I at least wanted to get the lyrics down to something. And I did that. I picked All At War, by none other than downhere.
When I write these things down, I listen to the song as I'm doing it. It's been a while since I really listened to downhere. So after I got the lyrics down and put my pen and paper aside, I had a real hankering to listen to the whole album. And that's what I decided to do. It was about 2:00 at this point. I turned on Ending Is Beginning, shut the laptop beside me on the bed, and lied down.
I really don't know what came over me. Maybe I was emotional from listening to All At War. I did start crying when I was listening to it. Maybe it had been so long since I had really listened to them that it hit me harder than normal. Maybe I've just been so busy that I needed to listen to my favorite band. Maybe God was trying to get my attention or trying to tell me something. Maybe it was a combination of all of those things.
Whatever it was, I lost it as soon as the first song started. And I will try my best to explain what I mean by that statement, but I'm sure I won't explain it well enough. I was sobbing. I was having trouble breathing, and therefore gasping for air. I was shaking. I was mouthing every word, unable to actually sing because of my tears and lack of breath. I was covering my face. I was running my hands through my hair. I was pulling my hair. I was holding my head. I was dancing. I was shaking my head, like a little kid displaying obvious dislike for something. I was groaning. I was protesting. I was lying immobile.
The first four things were the only things I really did consistently. All the rest I was cycling through. I'm sure I looked like I was in a lot of pain. Possibly like I was being tortured. And I may have even looked like I was possessed because everything I was doing was so schizophrenic. Is she dancing? Wait, her face is contorted. She can't be dancing. And there, she's beating her fists. But it looks like she's dancing again. And was that a grief smile that graced her mouth? She looks like she's trying to sing, but whatever it is must be pretty awful to make her do this. What's wrong with her?
I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't normally do this kind of thing. I don't normally display a lot of emotion, to the point that I often hide a lot of personality because of that. I'm not the type to go insane. Not usually. The only other times I have done this have been when I was listening to particulary incredible music, such as Ending Is Beginning and when I have had profound encounters with God. And I must say, that the two are most often coinciding.
For anyone who has heard this album, you know how phenomenal it is. And perhaps you too can relate to some of what I have shared.
I tried to describe what I was doing and what I looked like, but there is no describing how I felt. I'm sure I looked like I was in pain, because I was overwhelmed. And I was overwhelmed by how amazing everything was. How amazing the music was. How amazing the lyrics were. How amazing God is.
Hope Is Rising has always been the one song on that album that has made my cry the most. The vast majority of times I have listened to it, I have cried. And I thought that I had cried pretty hard a few times. But never before have I cried when listening to that song as much and as hard as I did tonight. That was the one that had me lying immobile, except for the convulsions of me sobbing so much and gasping for air. I tried to lift my arms up and few times and I never did make it very far, so I eventually gave up.
I mentioned protesting in that bizarre list up there. Here's what I meant by that. In My Last Amen, toward the end there is a part where Marc is oohing, Jason jumps in and says "a little closer" and they do a half chorus and finish out the song...well, when Jason says that line, "a little closer," in all of his low, beautiful, amazingness, it gets me every time I hear it. That is my favorite part. Well, I knew it was coming and I knew it was going to get to me more than usual and add to the sobbing and gasping, so right before he said it, I actually said (in between sobs), "Jason, don't do that." And then later, during Beggar Who Gives Alms, Marc was oohing again, only in this song it's so pretty, and he's up so high, and it really gets to me, too, so I said, "Don't do it, Marc." That's just two examples. I had other statements of protest mixed in here and there. And as I'm saying this, I know how ridiculous it sounds. I actually feel compelled to laugh at myself. But there was nothing particularly funny in any of those moments. Just beauty that was so striking it was painful.
As much as I have talked about them, if you haven't listened to downhere yet, you should. Their new album, Ending Is Beginning, is a good place to start. Any album is a good place to start, really. If you're not enamored from the first listen, just give it time. They may never appeal to or affect you as much as they do me, but you will like them at least. I'm pretty certain that I can guarantee that.
And despite how awake I was earlier, I am very tired now. I spent nearly an hour consistently sobbing, every muscle contracting with each gasp for breath. Not to mention all of the insane moving that I did. On top of that, it is now 5:00 AM. I need to go to sleep. Therefore forgive me if this post does not make a lot of sense. The subject matter is strange anyway and it doesn't help that my brain is shutting down.
So, downhere may not be bad for year health, but maybe you can see why I might wonder about mine. At the very least, I do know that it is time consuming.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Catching up.
It's been well over a week since I blogged...and for me that's a long time. So I'm here to give an update on my life. Fascinating as it is.
Today was my last day of finals! The semester is over, and my elation is overflowing! I'm one of those weird people who loves school, but even with that being the case I like it when breaks come along. Especially after the crunch of finals. It's a good thing.
My computer is down for the count. I don't know what happened, but I can't plug it in. So that means I can't use it because the battery will only last for so long. Thankfully, I am done with school for now so I don't really need it so much. Not in that sense of "need" anyway. Aside from school, I am very attached to my computer. I do sleep with it, in the bed, right by my head, every night. Oy.
I'm going back to the doctor in the morning and he's going to check out my foot and ankle. Hopefully he'll give me a good report. I am able to walk fairly normally now, so I assume he will. Not limping so much is enough to make me giddy. But I can't get too giddy or I might end up doing something to damage it more. I do still have to be careful. It's not completely healed yet.
Since school is no longer looming over me and my computer is out of commission I suddenly have a lot of time on my hands. But never fear, I have plenty of things to do. The first thing I did today was clean my room. It needed it. Looking at it, you would never be able to tell that I used to be an uptight, borderline neat freak. Never in my life has my room been that dirty. And I really mean dirty. It wasn't just messy. The carpet was covered in hair and trash and dirt and I don't know what all. It was pretty nasty.
I'm glad I'm not uptight anymore or I think I would have had a meltdown. I just couldn't clean it for the longest time. School kept me busy. And I wasn't functioning at full capacity with my injured ankle, so when I had free time cleaning just wasn't gonna work. Not to mention that fact that I wanted to relax whenever I could. So I just let it go and said I would get to it later.
Later was today, needless to say. I finally had the time, I was in an excellent mood and I could walk. Kind of. So I turned on the music and I'm amazed at what I accomplished. I even caught myself dancing a little bit. Not the smartest thing for me to do just yet, but what can I say.
I'm going to be heading to Arkansas next weekend to spend some time with some people before Christmas. I'm excited about that. There are a bunch of people whom I haven't seen in a long time and I'm hoping to meet up with them. And I will of course be spending time with family. My parents are going to be heading that way on Christmas Eve and my brothers and I would just go with them, but we want more time to spend with people so that's what we're going to do. Like my grandma, for instance. She made me laugh today. She knew this was the last day of my finals, so she called to find out how soon we were coming to see her. Today would have suited her. It was hilarious. I think she wants someone, or someones, to bake with. Not just yet Grandma. But I will be coming to see you soon.
Between now and then, I will be keeping myself busy doing all the things I've wanted to do for the past three months but haven't had the chance to. So it may be more than well over a week before I blog again. May not be until January. But maybe not. It's hard to keep me away from the internet, as evidenced by the fact that I'm finding time to blog and my computer is messed up. I really have a problem.
So before this gets too rambly, that's all for now. I know this was the most enthralling thing you've read in a long time. I'll try to make it less exciting next time around. Wouldn't want anyone to have a heart attack.
Today was my last day of finals! The semester is over, and my elation is overflowing! I'm one of those weird people who loves school, but even with that being the case I like it when breaks come along. Especially after the crunch of finals. It's a good thing.
My computer is down for the count. I don't know what happened, but I can't plug it in. So that means I can't use it because the battery will only last for so long. Thankfully, I am done with school for now so I don't really need it so much. Not in that sense of "need" anyway. Aside from school, I am very attached to my computer. I do sleep with it, in the bed, right by my head, every night. Oy.
I'm going back to the doctor in the morning and he's going to check out my foot and ankle. Hopefully he'll give me a good report. I am able to walk fairly normally now, so I assume he will. Not limping so much is enough to make me giddy. But I can't get too giddy or I might end up doing something to damage it more. I do still have to be careful. It's not completely healed yet.
Since school is no longer looming over me and my computer is out of commission I suddenly have a lot of time on my hands. But never fear, I have plenty of things to do. The first thing I did today was clean my room. It needed it. Looking at it, you would never be able to tell that I used to be an uptight, borderline neat freak. Never in my life has my room been that dirty. And I really mean dirty. It wasn't just messy. The carpet was covered in hair and trash and dirt and I don't know what all. It was pretty nasty.
I'm glad I'm not uptight anymore or I think I would have had a meltdown. I just couldn't clean it for the longest time. School kept me busy. And I wasn't functioning at full capacity with my injured ankle, so when I had free time cleaning just wasn't gonna work. Not to mention that fact that I wanted to relax whenever I could. So I just let it go and said I would get to it later.
Later was today, needless to say. I finally had the time, I was in an excellent mood and I could walk. Kind of. So I turned on the music and I'm amazed at what I accomplished. I even caught myself dancing a little bit. Not the smartest thing for me to do just yet, but what can I say.
I'm going to be heading to Arkansas next weekend to spend some time with some people before Christmas. I'm excited about that. There are a bunch of people whom I haven't seen in a long time and I'm hoping to meet up with them. And I will of course be spending time with family. My parents are going to be heading that way on Christmas Eve and my brothers and I would just go with them, but we want more time to spend with people so that's what we're going to do. Like my grandma, for instance. She made me laugh today. She knew this was the last day of my finals, so she called to find out how soon we were coming to see her. Today would have suited her. It was hilarious. I think she wants someone, or someones, to bake with. Not just yet Grandma. But I will be coming to see you soon.
Between now and then, I will be keeping myself busy doing all the things I've wanted to do for the past three months but haven't had the chance to. So it may be more than well over a week before I blog again. May not be until January. But maybe not. It's hard to keep me away from the internet, as evidenced by the fact that I'm finding time to blog and my computer is messed up. I really have a problem.
So before this gets too rambly, that's all for now. I know this was the most enthralling thing you've read in a long time. I'll try to make it less exciting next time around. Wouldn't want anyone to have a heart attack.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Did I get up on the wrong side of the bed?
Today was a really off day. Really off. Even considering my low standards, it was an off day. And when I say "low standards" what I mean is that I'm a really laid back person, so stuff happens all the time that might be considered "less than ideal" but I don't really notice and at the end of the day, I think that my day has been fantastic despite all the bumps in the road.
To quote Julie Andrews, "Let's start at the beginning, a very good place to start." I overslept this morning. My alarm went off. I opened my eyes. I turned my alarm off. I closed my eyes. And next thing I know, nearly 40 minutes has passed, and it's time for me to be leaving. So I was late to my first class. And when I get there, I find that my teacher wasn't there. Her husband was in the hospital, so she told us just to take the class time to work on our group projects. She wanted everyone to sign in so that she would know who was there. But someone (another teacher, I'm guessing) had already come and taken the sign-in sheet away because I suppose he figured everyone who was coming was already there. So I won't get credit for going to class. No big deal, but it would be nice. Once in class, only one member of my group was there. We had already arranged to meet later in the library, so since our whole group wasn't there, we didn't talk about much and just decided to leave the discussion to later. So I show up late to a class I'm not getting credit for, and am only there for about 10 minutes. What a way to start a day!
My next class was pretty run of the mill. Nothing too special happened. Except for the fact that we did teacher evaluations, but that's not too unexpected with it being the end of the semester.
My brother came and picked me up after that. Since I injured myself, he's been escorting me from class to class so I don't have to walk so much. I thank him often. Anyway, I get in the car, he takes off, and then makes a turn in the opposite direction of where I'm supposed to be going and before I get the chance to say, "Where the heck are you going?" he says, "Wait. Where am I taking you?" So we go the long way around and I'm late for my next class. Again. Excellent. I walk in the door of my classroom and my teacher hands me a quiz. I forgot we were having a quiz in that class today. And since I'm late, I have about a minute to do it. Thankfully, it was easy so the minute was fine. After the quiz, it was time for review. We have a test on Wednesday and then our final. So we went over stuff. The class was good. But since we were reviewing, we got out early. Again. So I call my brother to come get me again, earlier than expected. He was parked not far away, so I walked over to the car.
My brother then takes me to the library, where I was supposed to be meeting that group I mentioned in my first class so we could talk about our projects. Again, my brother is distracted and takes the long way around. Again, I am late. Not very late. But late. I walk in the library, and I see not a one of them anywhere. I walk around to see if I can find them. No such luck. So I sit down in the front to wait, in a very visible area so it wouldn't be hard for them to spot me should they walk by. 20 minutes. I see no one. So I call my brother again. We go home so I can get something to eat before my next class.
I wasn't late to my next class. But my next class was cut short. Again. All we did were teacher evaluations, so when that was over we were free to leave. Despite me being painfully slow at doing those things, I was still out about 40 minutes before I had to be anywhere else. The next thing I was supposed to be doing was meeting with my advisor. So I walked over to the building in which his office is located and decided to hang out there and try to do some work while I was waiting. I did that. Then I walked to his office when I told him I would be there. So I was there and was not late. But he wasn't there.
So I go sit back down in the hallway to see if there's anything else I can do before my last class starts. But I really didn't have much to do. I had already done about as much as I could do with the books and stuff I had with me. So I contemplated asking my brother to come and get me earlier than he expected again. And I actually did call him. But unlike the previous times, he wasn't hanging out on campus, so he would have had to drive from home and then take me home, and then take me back to school and it would have been insane and a waste of gas. So I just told him what was going on and that I would wait around. For about another hour. I eventually got out my Bible and read a while in Isaiah. About eight chapters, I think.
Some passage of time later, it's finally time for my last class to start. I warned my brother that I would probably be calling him earlier than usual because I had a feeling it was going to be a short class. I was right. Basically, all we did was get back the last papers we wrote. My teacher is known for grading pretty harshly, and she's consistent. I got an F. My reaction when I saw that F scribbled on the back was laughter. Not audible laughter, but I'm pretty sure my diaphragm contracted and air was expelled out of my lungs through my open, smiling mouth. For all those who made a D or an F, she told us we could revise, but we needed to make an appointment to talk with her about our papers. I'm pretty sure every single one of us made an appointment with her before we left.
I'll stop there. I still have a little more of my day left, and I'm hoping it's not as awkward as the rest.
There you have it. I was late multiple times over, the people I was supposed to meet didn't show up, and I made my first ever F on a paper. Oh, and I forgot to mention that it's been showing all day, so that made all this awkwardness seem even more surreal. Because snow doesn't happen on awkward days. At least, not in my mind.
In all of this, I'm not complaining. Like I said, I'm really laid back. In fact, as I sit here and think back on my day, I can't help but chuckle. I really don't know why I laugh, or why I laughed when I saw that F. I guess I just have a tendency to laugh at problems rather than get upset, whether they be funny or not.
And now it's almost time for me to go get ready for my last choir concert of the semester. I'm going to laugh really hard if something goes wrong there. And you can be sure I will share it with you all if something does happen.
To quote Julie Andrews, "Let's start at the beginning, a very good place to start." I overslept this morning. My alarm went off. I opened my eyes. I turned my alarm off. I closed my eyes. And next thing I know, nearly 40 minutes has passed, and it's time for me to be leaving. So I was late to my first class. And when I get there, I find that my teacher wasn't there. Her husband was in the hospital, so she told us just to take the class time to work on our group projects. She wanted everyone to sign in so that she would know who was there. But someone (another teacher, I'm guessing) had already come and taken the sign-in sheet away because I suppose he figured everyone who was coming was already there. So I won't get credit for going to class. No big deal, but it would be nice. Once in class, only one member of my group was there. We had already arranged to meet later in the library, so since our whole group wasn't there, we didn't talk about much and just decided to leave the discussion to later. So I show up late to a class I'm not getting credit for, and am only there for about 10 minutes. What a way to start a day!
My next class was pretty run of the mill. Nothing too special happened. Except for the fact that we did teacher evaluations, but that's not too unexpected with it being the end of the semester.
My brother came and picked me up after that. Since I injured myself, he's been escorting me from class to class so I don't have to walk so much. I thank him often. Anyway, I get in the car, he takes off, and then makes a turn in the opposite direction of where I'm supposed to be going and before I get the chance to say, "Where the heck are you going?" he says, "Wait. Where am I taking you?" So we go the long way around and I'm late for my next class. Again. Excellent. I walk in the door of my classroom and my teacher hands me a quiz. I forgot we were having a quiz in that class today. And since I'm late, I have about a minute to do it. Thankfully, it was easy so the minute was fine. After the quiz, it was time for review. We have a test on Wednesday and then our final. So we went over stuff. The class was good. But since we were reviewing, we got out early. Again. So I call my brother to come get me again, earlier than expected. He was parked not far away, so I walked over to the car.
My brother then takes me to the library, where I was supposed to be meeting that group I mentioned in my first class so we could talk about our projects. Again, my brother is distracted and takes the long way around. Again, I am late. Not very late. But late. I walk in the library, and I see not a one of them anywhere. I walk around to see if I can find them. No such luck. So I sit down in the front to wait, in a very visible area so it wouldn't be hard for them to spot me should they walk by. 20 minutes. I see no one. So I call my brother again. We go home so I can get something to eat before my next class.
I wasn't late to my next class. But my next class was cut short. Again. All we did were teacher evaluations, so when that was over we were free to leave. Despite me being painfully slow at doing those things, I was still out about 40 minutes before I had to be anywhere else. The next thing I was supposed to be doing was meeting with my advisor. So I walked over to the building in which his office is located and decided to hang out there and try to do some work while I was waiting. I did that. Then I walked to his office when I told him I would be there. So I was there and was not late. But he wasn't there.
So I go sit back down in the hallway to see if there's anything else I can do before my last class starts. But I really didn't have much to do. I had already done about as much as I could do with the books and stuff I had with me. So I contemplated asking my brother to come and get me earlier than he expected again. And I actually did call him. But unlike the previous times, he wasn't hanging out on campus, so he would have had to drive from home and then take me home, and then take me back to school and it would have been insane and a waste of gas. So I just told him what was going on and that I would wait around. For about another hour. I eventually got out my Bible and read a while in Isaiah. About eight chapters, I think.
Some passage of time later, it's finally time for my last class to start. I warned my brother that I would probably be calling him earlier than usual because I had a feeling it was going to be a short class. I was right. Basically, all we did was get back the last papers we wrote. My teacher is known for grading pretty harshly, and she's consistent. I got an F. My reaction when I saw that F scribbled on the back was laughter. Not audible laughter, but I'm pretty sure my diaphragm contracted and air was expelled out of my lungs through my open, smiling mouth. For all those who made a D or an F, she told us we could revise, but we needed to make an appointment to talk with her about our papers. I'm pretty sure every single one of us made an appointment with her before we left.
I'll stop there. I still have a little more of my day left, and I'm hoping it's not as awkward as the rest.
There you have it. I was late multiple times over, the people I was supposed to meet didn't show up, and I made my first ever F on a paper. Oh, and I forgot to mention that it's been showing all day, so that made all this awkwardness seem even more surreal. Because snow doesn't happen on awkward days. At least, not in my mind.
In all of this, I'm not complaining. Like I said, I'm really laid back. In fact, as I sit here and think back on my day, I can't help but chuckle. I really don't know why I laugh, or why I laughed when I saw that F. I guess I just have a tendency to laugh at problems rather than get upset, whether they be funny or not.
And now it's almost time for me to go get ready for my last choir concert of the semester. I'm going to laugh really hard if something goes wrong there. And you can be sure I will share it with you all if something does happen.
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