The closest I've ever come to an Acts 2 experience.

Summer.

Heat.

Excessive heat.

It's likely my least favorite part about the region where I reside. I could live without it.

But there are perks. My favorite part: camp.

Camp Formosa. I'm heading there tomorrow. My heart is overjoyed.

To list the things I love about going to camp would be nigh impossible and I shall not attempt it. But one thing I feel is worthy of note is this: I love how, even though I'm going to be a leader, I still learn. And it's the ones I'm supposed to be leading that often give me back more than I could expect, even though I should know better after these many years.

I love it so, I'm not even going to miss being here much. Aside from my bed and bedroom. And not because my bed is really comfortable. Or because my room is so serene. My room is chaotic. And so much sunlight comes in that it wakes me up in the morning, no matter how much I didn't sleep the night before. When my bed - which is old, rickety, and lays sideways - is thrown into the equation, there's no way that long, restful sleeps can take the blame for my fondness of sleeping in my room. The fact that I'm going to miss an environment such as I just described actually shows that peace and luxury are things I likely would not miss if I had them.

The only real difference between my room and the camp environment is the relative solitude.

And that's something I'm willing to give up, despite introverted tendencies. I should just move in. Whenever I feel like I'm about to go over the edge, I can just lock myself in the bathroom for ten minutes. It works surprisingly well. And I do it surprisingly often.

All around, the only difference between home and camp is the number of people around. I'd probably lock myself in the bathroom at home more if I lived with 100+ people every day............yikes......

So maybe I don't love camp quite that much. Having my own house 11 months of the year is a good thing.

But now is the season for commune life! And I embrace it wholeheartedly.

"I am confidence in insecurity..."

I thought tonight I might get something "purposeful" accomplished. And I did a few things. But I was soon overcome with a desire to sing and that's mostly all I've been doing for the past hour and a half. That and entertaining a few sundry thoughts in between belted choruses.

I said that life has been more business as usual than I expected. And that's true. There have been a few experiences in the last week and a half that were a little atypical, but it's still mostly true.

Yet, I'm discovering that I'm more unsettled than I have been in recent memory.

Maybe my station in society is starting to sink in.

Or maybe I've grown unaccustomed to business as usual. This particular kind of business as usual.

What I've grown accustomed to is working steadily on a daily basis, not giving much thought to anything else. Then as soon as there is a break from the work, taking off and doing something else demanding and distracting for a short time before returning to work. There has been a great decrease in mind-numbing demands and I think I'm going through an awkward adjustment.

Or it could be divinely inspired.

Maybe there's soon to be a dramatic change and I wouldn't be ready for it if I felt comfortable. Or maybe I need to be paying careful attention and the only way to ensure that is constant agitation.

The most interesting thing is that even with this unsettled feeling, I'm at peace. It's not worry that's unsettling me, because I'm not worried. I know I'm provided for and God has every circumstance under his watchful eye. I'm unsettled because I feel different. I don't feel like I know anything and I think that's the best way for me to feel. Completely unsure in myself and completely at ease with the giver of grace.