A broken heart.

The latest happenings on American Idol inspired this post tonight. No, this post isn't solely dedicated to that, but it's related.

For those who don't know, Kris Allen, my homeboy from Conway, AR was just named the next American Idol. For those who do know, KRIS JUST WON!!!

The episodes I watched this season were very few and far between. But I kept up pretty well with what was happening on the Internet, and my favorites started emerging. Kris was one of them from the beginning. Not simply because I'm from Conway, but because he's good. So when he reached the final two, I wanted him to win so badly. Now, did I want him to win so badly that I voted? No. As much as I've been wrapped up in the show in the past, I have never voted. Why? Probably because I have an extreme aversion to phones. And I can't text in my votes, unless I want to pay for them. So I was hoping that the majority of the voting population would be of the same mind as me, and vote for Kris until their fingers fell off. And apparently, they did. For which, I am ecstatic.

Not only is the boy good, I love his attitude. Humble, he most definitely is. His reaction when he won was the best ever. He was pretty much trying to give the spotlight to Adam and say that he should be the one standing off to the side instead. Some would agree with that assessment. And strictly vocally speaking, Adam does have the upper hand. But Kris's attitude pushes him over the top for me. And America agreed!

In thinking about Kris, I definitely feel a swell of hometown pride. Arkansans are amazing. And I'm not just on the Arkansas bandwagon because the current American Idol winner lives there. I really do love where I'm from. Conway is for sure at the top, but the whole state is great. I love the simplicity of everything. And I love the fact that you can't deny you're in the South while you're there. I have Arkansas pride, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

But I also really love where I live now. Actually, although I call Arkansas my home, I've lived in the Middle Tennessee area for a greater number of years than I have lived in the Natural State. I moved to Nashville just a few months before I turned 7 and most of my growing up years were spent in the Davidson/Rutherford County area. And I'm so happy to be where I am right at this point in my life. I love where I go to school and can't imagine being anywhere else. And the culture in this area is really great; there are so many different types of people around here, different backgrounds, different points of view, but I can still tell that I'm in the middle of the South. And as rapidly as Murfreesboro is changing and expanding, it has still managed to keep its small town feel. Small towns are my favorite. And of course, the music. When my family first came here, as adamantly as I was against moving, the only high point for me, and the thing that made it seem at least slightly okay, was the fact that I was moving to Music City.

My heart is torn. Is there any way that I can live in two places at once? Yeah, that's what I thought. When I'm here, I miss being there. I miss my family. I miss all of my friends; friends whom I don't get to see very often. I miss being able to walk out my back door and get lost in the woods, and not even have to worry about trespassing, because my family owns all the land as far as I care to walk. I miss being able to go to Toad Suck Daze! (Some of you know what I'm talking about, but I'm sure most of you are thinking, "What the heck is Toad Suck Daze?" Ask me and I'll tell you. :-)) When I'm there, I can't wait to get back here. I love my house. I miss my friends. I have a lot of really great ones over here. I miss being able to run to Nashville for a concert. (Which I don't actually do that often, due to a lack of funds, but it is known to happen, and the number of free shows around here is much greater than the number of free shows over there.)

Whatever shall I do? If I had more money, I'd travel back and forth a lot more. And maybe I'll be able to do that in the future. But who knows, I may end up somewhere totally different later on in life, making the situation even more complicated. All I know is, right now, I am where I am supposed to be, and as long as that's the case, I'm going to stay here. And enjoy all the times that I get to spend in Arkansas.