To know and be made known.

Consider this a follow up to my last post. I was thinking about this when I was writing the last one, and but I felt it should be separate.

I find much joy in being able to say that I know people. Even if I've only met them one time and talked to them for about half a minute, or even if they're that person I see in class three times a week, whose name I know, and backpack I recognize, and yet never speak to, I still get some sort of thrill, even if it's a tiny one, from the fact that I know that person. And it comes out especially when I see them in an environment in which I'm not accustomed to seeing them, or if I ever hear someone talking about them. I think, "Hey! I know that person!"

Being known by someone is also rather exciting. It's nice to be able to walk up to a person and not have to explain who you are. They know already, so you can move on to other things.

If given the choice between the two, though, I'd rather know someone.

But to know someone means that they have to know you. At least to a degree. And how well you know a person will largely depend on how well they know you. Usually.

That's what relationships are, a mutual knowing.

I struggle with this. Like I said, I'd rather know people. And I relish every moment spent getting to know someone. I lap up information about a person as if to quench a deep thirst. And not just factual information, but also the look they get on their face when they're concentrating, or the tone their voice takes when they're nervous. But to let someone know me is more difficult. I don't know why, because I honestly don't try to foster a habit of keeping myself secret from other people. But it seems like I so consistently manage to leave people with the impression that I'm cryptic and trying to hide things. And thus I get in the way of being able to know someone better, because I won't let them know me better.

And this is another reason that Jesus is my greatest friend, because he knows me better than I could never know myself. So I am free to get to know him more and more every day.