I want.....I don't know what I want.

I'm still hanging out in the grand state of Arkansas at my grandma's house.

It's been fun, but I'm starting to think about going home. I like home. I miss home.

I left my life in a mess when I left home. That's one of the reasons I'm eager to get back. To clean it up a little bit. My bedroom was turned upside down, with my furniture all over the place, my stuff strewn anywhere and everywhere, and a little too much dirt on the floor. Academically, I stumbled my way through finals, then got out of Dodge the next day and didn't look back. School is going to be starting again before I know it, and I'd like to re-organize myself and be better prepared than I was last semester.

Other than that, I'm still looking forward to some real time off. It's fun to visit family and friends and not think about reading a book or writing papers while doing so, but the only thing that counts as a real break for me is to be at home with no obligations and plenty of alone time. With only two weeks before school starts, I'm running out of opportunities.

Earlier today, I was dead set on leaving early Saturday. We could make it home before it got late(which is something we never do), and we'd be able to go to our own church the next day. (I also miss my church. Not just my house.) But then I started thinking about the people I haven't seen yet whom I dearly want to be able to spend some time with. And I started to think that I might not want to leave Saturday.

It's funny how eager I am to get home and retreat to my bedroom, and yet I'm hesitant to go just yet in favor of being social. So it goes.

So rather than just planning for when I'm headed home like I was earlier, I am now trying to see who is free when, what my brothers think about what they want to do, and then we'll see how that all works together and decide what to do about going home from there.

The content of this post is evidence of how easily my mind is swayed.