Sweet dreams.

I am growing tired of dreaming. The kind I do in my sleep, that is.

I wake up most mornings remembering a dream I just had during the night. For a time a few years ago I would write down my dreams every day. Most of them were just pretty insane, but sometimes bad things would happen. Occasionally something that could be considered good.

I still write a dream down from time to time, but there are usually several months between entries. My dreaming is still mostly insane, but along with that, it is also mostly bad. Calamity, death, murder, sickness, hatred: these are the kinds of things that have become common in my nightly dreaming.

Why is this the case? That's one of the first questions I ask myself nearly every day. At this point in my life, I regulate the things I watch, as well as everything I listen to and read and talk about, more stringently than I ever have before. And that's not to say that I ever made a habit of watching gory movies with people dying every five minutes, nor that I've become so strict that I can't watch anything that's not rated G, but I do think it's important to be conscious of and careful with what you're allowing yourself to spend your time and energy on. So I intake far fewer things than I once did that would be influencing me to think about all those things in my sleep. So again, where is this all coming from?

Whatever is causing it, I'd like for it to discontinue. Ideally, it would be nice to start dreaming about good things again, or at least anything not bad. The notorious insanity of my dreams, when it is sans calamity, was always rather entertaining. But if I can't dream without somebody dying or being hateful every night, then I would rather not dream at all.

I tend to blame my increased busyness for my lack of recording my dreams, and it is certainly a factor. But I think this is the more overwhelming reason. It gets old writing about trouble all the time, and most days I wake up and want to forget what my mind had just concocted while I was snoozing.

I am now off to further contemplate this as I get ready for bed. Here's to a dreamless night.