That's good to know.

As is usual for me when I come out of a social experience, I have been analyzing myself and my behavior quite a bit this week.

I am so maddeningly quiet. (Whoa, just tried to read that out loud...can't quite get my mouth around the m-word.) I'm sure it's probably not as maddening to other people as it is to me. And to be honest, it usually doesn't bother me much. But there are times when I wonder why I can't open my mouth more often and do something beyond laugh. Or sing. I see all kinds of opportunities (after the fact) when I could have said something to enrich a conversation, or be encouraging to someone else, or share something that I think is worth people knowing.

I'm too wrapped up in my head. That's why I don't say anything. By the time words come to me to say, the moment when it would have been appropriate to say them has passed, and I guess I'm not too keen on constantly restarting conversations that were had 5 and a half minutes ago.

Never one to be content to overlook the positive, I feel that I must say there are benefits to this. I am a really good listener. I tend pick up on things people say in group conversations that is lost on most other ears amidst the chatter. And I'm very observant. Usually. I take in much more than I put out.

I think that's the biggest lesson I learned this weekend, if you want to look at life as being a learning experience, and I do. I take in so much from my environment and the people around me. I hear things, I see things, I gather information that I can ponder in my head, I soak in the beauty around me. But I feel like I don't offer much to anyone else. I just take all the time. It makes me feel bad. Because it makes me feel selfish.

I haven't worked out what to do about this yet. And I may never. But you can bet I'm going to think about it until I do. Or until God settles in my heart that it's not a problem.

I've also determined that it really is official that I can sing in front of just about anybody without a care in the world. At least, not a care enough to stop me. Last weekend, I found myself busting loose with people I had only met a few hours before. That's probably the only thing I will do with people I don't know.

I really do light up when I sing. I feel like I do internally, anyway. I'm not sure externally. But I have a feeling I do. Because as skilled as I seem to be at hiding what I'm really feeling, I don't think I'm that good.

I have also reconfirmed how much I enjoy being with people. As my friend Hannah said last weekend, I am a social introvert. Meaning that I love going out and surrounding myself with people and enjoying their company, but at the end of the day, I need to spend some time alone to process everything, regroup, and recharge my batteries, so to speak.

Which leads into my next observation...I spend too much time by myself. I do genuinely need to spend time alone, otherwise I have a breakdown. It has happened with even my closest friends. But I don't require quite as much alone time as I typically get. Therefore I need to find more excuses to see people. Especially since it's still summer, and I don't have a load of homework nagging at me.