Irrational distaste.

To some of you, my next statement, or rather the one I am preparing you for, may be shocking. But to look at things in a positive light, that may not be an entirely bad thing. We can look at shock as something to get our attention, to change us in some way, change our perspective, change how we feel, make us more aware of realities around us. Anyway, I digress. What is this statement I am so slowly meandering toward?

I often have to temper a great dislike of the television. Most of the time, I don't just hold a passive disinterest, I actively feel negatively when thinking and/or looking at it. In general, if I had my druthers (to borrow a phrase from my grandmother) every TV in the vicinity would just disappear. Less space would be taken up, they wouldn't collect dust, and life would just generally be better. In fact, I sometimes feel so strongly that if I were an aggressive type, I'd probably be more inclined to smash them, or dismantle them, or tear them apart in some way before they disappear.

Is this rational? I am well aware that it's not. I strive for being rational, but that doesn't mean I always am. If I were, there would be no need for striving.

Why do I feel this way toward an inanimate object that is not, nor can it be, anymore bad than a teacup? Because so often the TV represents things with which I have little patience or tolerance: wasting time, the glorification of that which is unholy, grossly exaggerated materialism, the promotion of mindlessness, and there are probably others.

As soon as I am living on my own, I am tempted to not even have a TV. Having never lived without one, I can't know for sure how well that would work out. I might find that for all my steaming, not having one around would make me actually want to use one on occasion. We'll see. I am rather certain that I don't want to pay for any programming, so if I have one, it will likely only be used for occasional movie watching (movies being a topic which could also inspire a rant, albeit a less intense one). But even if I did find myself longing for one, I still think my life would overall be fine, and I would soon get over it and move on to something better.

Ironically, or perhaps not, all this is brought to you by a grown-up (can I call myself a "grown-up") who was once a kid that watched a lot of TV. Like most kids usually are, I was up on pop culture. Practically every show on TV, those directed at my age group at least, was my favorite. I watched them all with few exceptions. Hours and hours, and days and days of my life were spent with the screen flashing in front of my face, and at the time, I enjoyed every minute.

But I think maybe now that's why I feel so opposed to it. I realize how much time I spent, and it's shocking to me now. There were so many other things I could have been doing that would have brought much more benefit. Avid reader though I was, I could have read even more books! I could have played more. I was a kid, so I did indeed play, but as I've mentioned many times before, I wasn't a typical child, so playing wasn't as big of a part of my life as my peers. Looking back on it now, I wish it had been. But then, I guess I wouldn't have been me, so that's why it's a good thing wishes aren't always granted. Getting back on subject, so much of the time I spent watching TV was thoroughly meaningless. And most of the things I was filling my brain with weren't beneficial, in some cases possibly destructive.

Thus the position I have come to today. My opinions on the whole subject were much more reasonable seven, eight, nine years ago. I had started to realize how I could be better spending my time and energy, but I hadn't yet reached the cynical peak at which I am currently. Maybe there's some way I can regain that balance.

Until then, no one buy/give me a TV, since I know that's what all of you are clambering to do. I will appreciate your generous spirit, but that appreciation will have some serious competition, and at the very least, your gift will not get used. A much safer and less expensive option would be a deck of playing cards. With a gift like that, you might just become my best friend. But beware, I would expect you to play card games with me from that point on. Give at your own risk.