Mess maker, mess maker, make me a mess!

One thing I have learned about myself is that I cannot function without making a mess. In everything that I do, if I expect to accomplish anything, there is going to be a mess made. Which is fine. I just have to make sure that I clean up as soon as each task is complete, otherwise all the messes will start compiling and get out of control and make it impossible for me to do anything, which is the predicament that I find myself to be in at the moment.

Since school started nearly two weeks ago, my life has become messier and messier. I feel disorganized in the way that I've been doing things and my physical surroundings (e.g. my room) I think are affecting that. I have clothes littering various spots of my room, clean ones mixed in with dirty ones. My desk chair is piled high, which therefore means that I can't sit at my desk which is definitely inhibiting my work. And even if I could get to my desk, it's cluttered with stuff that would prevent me from using it.

Even though I very desperately need to get things cleaned up in order to function, I've been so busy that I can't seem to find the time to do that. But I know that if I get things cleaned up, it won't take me so long to do things because I won't have to be compensating for the craziness and I'll have more time for other things. And in all honesty, I could probably have my room cleaned up in about an hour or two. So why haven't I? Because an hour or two is hard to find. And when I do find them, I'm too overwhelmed to even start. And I tell myself "Surely I'll have more time to do that later."

I need to be disciplined. I know that my life doesn't have to be perfect and it never will, but I still need to not let things get out of control.

With that being said, I am grateful that this can happen and my reaction is not to have a nervous breakdown. In the not-so-distant past, that's how I would have reacted. Actually, I probably wouldn't have let it get this bad and I would have beat my brains out trying to make sure everything was perfect. Which is not the way to go. My current state is not the way to go either, but I prefer it to being uptight and anal and causing myself unneeded stress.

Balance. That's what I need.