There are innumerable things I don't talk about much, if ever. This is one of them. Thus I can tell you with a sizable bit of confidence that you shouldn't expect to see a string of posts from me on this subject.
Also, the timing of this post has not been overlooked in either the writing or publishing. As separated from this subject as I do try to be, I'm not quite that willfully ignorant.
I dance near the edge of being un-American. So closely, in fact, I probably wouldn't argue with you if you said my steps, even the most practiced and calculated of them, crossed the line more often than I realize.
Had I been born in, say, Ecuador this wouldn't be too noteworthy. I haven't ever met anyone from Ecuador, but I'm supposing it wouldn't be a surprise for an Ecuadorian, or anyone else not born in the fifty states, to prize their own country over a foreign one. But, alas, I wasn't. I was born smack dab in the middle of Arkansas, about as home grown as one can be, and to this day have not even left the country for travel. A small, shallow spot in the Gulf of Mexico is the most exoticism my short, sheltered life has seen.
One thing I do prize about my country is I have the right to not like it. I can post this confession for the world to see and still be just as American as the stars and stripes flying atop the White House. (But don't expect me to start flying any stars and stripes atop my own house.) It seems odd to cherish this, yes, but the right to be discontent and dissatisfied publicly is one I don't take for granted. I'm like a self-aware Ebenezer Scrooge. An American self-aware Ebenezer Scrooge.
What is there to be discontent about? Waste. Entitlement. Selfishness. Blinding nationalism. I heard this phrase spoken recently in reference to my homeland, "We are the hope of the world," and I wanted to react. I'm not sure how I wanted to react, because I'm not the reactionary type, but I sure felt like doing something. Shout, maybe? Turn the TV off in huffy offense? Pace the floor? I'm pretty sure I did roll my eyes, and for me that's something. You know I'm seriously perturbed when I roll my eyes.
After working through the initial emotion I experience when encountering these things, I do begin to wonder if, in my worldly ignorance, I don't see them as prevalent in other parts of the world even though they may be there, and my ethnocentric worldview has only been convinced that Americans are particularly susceptible to such offending attitudes and behaviors more so than the rest of our planetary neighbors. Maybe Ecuadorians throw things away just as much as we do. I don't know. My only reference is what I hear from people who know what it's like in other parts of the world. Thus I can't speak from my own experience, and therefore try to be careful when making judgments. The impression I get, though, does not reflect well on my country.
As I mentioned above, I do pay attention to what others have to say of what they know about the rest of the world, and in doing so try to imagine myself living in other places and cultures. What would that look like? How is any given culture different than my own? Most importantly, I wonder how I would feel living in a different place, with a different people group, under a different government, with a different worldview. Through all my wonderings, I'm formulating an interesting conclusion.
Due to my own worldview, I doubt I would be content in any country or with any government. Not any that exists on this planet.
To an American mind, it seems obvious why I have fundamental issues with dictatorship, or monarchy. Placing all the power in one person's hands is never a good idea. Foul moods, selfishness, ignorance, any number of things can lead a person to make bad decisions, and it's scary to think that the well-being of a whole group of people could be upheld or destroyed by one all-powerful (human) leader.
But bad decisions are not limited to individuals. There is no magic that grants a group infallible wisdom, or the infallible ability to heed infallible wisdom when they come across it. It's for these reasons I'm not really keen on democracy either. This is where the United States of America, the "government of the people, by the people, for the people," and I part ways. In my experience, the people don't know what they're talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about, except for this, the conviction that we're all inept. That I do know, and believe.
It's this conviction that makes it hard for me to get involved with government and politics. I genuinely can't do it. Call me a fatalist if you will, but I believe so strongly that none of us will ever get it right that my conscience won't let me. I don't talk politics with my friends. I don't follow the latest news from the campaign trail. I haven't even ever voted for anything, and unless my convictions change it doesn't seem likely that I ever will.
I believe that infallible wisdom is only found in God. In deciding how to live my life, he's the source to which I look. I can't make everybody do that, though. God doesn't even make everybody do that. Therefore, our human governments can't dictate that God be considered when decisions are made. But when we don't chaos follows accordingly.
For those familiar with biblical history, you may remember God warned his people, the nation of Israel, that would happen to them. In case you need a refresher, or your biblical history knowledge is lacking on the whole, they didn't believe it. They begged to be given a human king. Other peoples had kings, and the last thing Israel wanted was to be left out. As a nation, they wanted to be taken seriously as a peer to the rest of the world, so when God told them he was the only king they needed, they rejected the idea. God gave them a king, then, and they quickly fell into ruin. The first three kings left sordid stories behind them, and by the time the fourth one came around, the nation split into two. If God's own chosen can't fare any better than that, it doesn't look good for the rest of us.
I guess, then, I'm not purely un-American. Un-Earthly is a better description. If any person presumes to make decisions for a people, whether they be autonomous in their decision-making or working with others, and they do it apart from God, I can't jump in and participate.
The reality which can't be overlooked, though, is that I am living on the earth under earthly rule. As long as I'm here I can't escape it. And I think out of all the nationalities available, being an American isn't so bad. It's great, actually. I'm safer here than I would be in many places around the world. I have opportunities that wouldn't be as readily available elsewhere. I also don't have people threatening to break down my door, or worse, because I follow and talk about Jesus. For all these things and more I am grateful. I could have been born anywhere, but I was born here, in privilege and blessing. Glory to God.
So I follow the rules, like a good citizen. And I don't grumble about taxes. One thing I feel I need to make clear is even though I am a discontent citizen, that does not mean I am a rebellious one. I seek to neither defy nor overturn any governments, least of all my own, and although I do not feel released to continually assert my voice in how the government should be run, I do not project my convictions on anyone else. To the contrary, I think it's important for people like me who value God's direction and still feel freedom to exercise their rights in full to do so. By all means, vote. Run for public office. Become president. I do not mean to suggest in anything I have written that all people who care anything about God should pull out of government and politics. Like every messy thing in life, governance requires grace. I have not been given the grace for such things. If you have, live in that grace. I have been given grace to do other things that I notice are not common in all people, so it's those things in which I strive and hope to live wholeheartedly, and it's also those things which I am not surprised to find people avoiding like their lives are dependent on it. In a way they are.
I'm sure it goes without saying, but I have not voted early for the impending presidential election like so many have, nor will I be queuing up in front of a polling booth on Tuesday. (Side note: in the six years I've been eligible, I have never registered to vote. As an almost chronic gypsy, having these particular convictions has been convenient; no registration transferring!) Whoever wins the election, I wish them the best. And I pray for it, too. I wouldn't wish the job of American President on my enemy. That's probably because my lack of grace in that area has rendered me unable to imagine how anyone could bear up under it. I sincerely hope the guy who wins over the Electoral College on Tuesday can.
Also, the timing of this post has not been overlooked in either the writing or publishing. As separated from this subject as I do try to be, I'm not quite that willfully ignorant.
********
I dance near the edge of being un-American. So closely, in fact, I probably wouldn't argue with you if you said my steps, even the most practiced and calculated of them, crossed the line more often than I realize.
Had I been born in, say, Ecuador this wouldn't be too noteworthy. I haven't ever met anyone from Ecuador, but I'm supposing it wouldn't be a surprise for an Ecuadorian, or anyone else not born in the fifty states, to prize their own country over a foreign one. But, alas, I wasn't. I was born smack dab in the middle of Arkansas, about as home grown as one can be, and to this day have not even left the country for travel. A small, shallow spot in the Gulf of Mexico is the most exoticism my short, sheltered life has seen.
One thing I do prize about my country is I have the right to not like it. I can post this confession for the world to see and still be just as American as the stars and stripes flying atop the White House. (But don't expect me to start flying any stars and stripes atop my own house.) It seems odd to cherish this, yes, but the right to be discontent and dissatisfied publicly is one I don't take for granted. I'm like a self-aware Ebenezer Scrooge. An American self-aware Ebenezer Scrooge.
What is there to be discontent about? Waste. Entitlement. Selfishness. Blinding nationalism. I heard this phrase spoken recently in reference to my homeland, "We are the hope of the world," and I wanted to react. I'm not sure how I wanted to react, because I'm not the reactionary type, but I sure felt like doing something. Shout, maybe? Turn the TV off in huffy offense? Pace the floor? I'm pretty sure I did roll my eyes, and for me that's something. You know I'm seriously perturbed when I roll my eyes.
After working through the initial emotion I experience when encountering these things, I do begin to wonder if, in my worldly ignorance, I don't see them as prevalent in other parts of the world even though they may be there, and my ethnocentric worldview has only been convinced that Americans are particularly susceptible to such offending attitudes and behaviors more so than the rest of our planetary neighbors. Maybe Ecuadorians throw things away just as much as we do. I don't know. My only reference is what I hear from people who know what it's like in other parts of the world. Thus I can't speak from my own experience, and therefore try to be careful when making judgments. The impression I get, though, does not reflect well on my country.
As I mentioned above, I do pay attention to what others have to say of what they know about the rest of the world, and in doing so try to imagine myself living in other places and cultures. What would that look like? How is any given culture different than my own? Most importantly, I wonder how I would feel living in a different place, with a different people group, under a different government, with a different worldview. Through all my wonderings, I'm formulating an interesting conclusion.
Due to my own worldview, I doubt I would be content in any country or with any government. Not any that exists on this planet.
To an American mind, it seems obvious why I have fundamental issues with dictatorship, or monarchy. Placing all the power in one person's hands is never a good idea. Foul moods, selfishness, ignorance, any number of things can lead a person to make bad decisions, and it's scary to think that the well-being of a whole group of people could be upheld or destroyed by one all-powerful (human) leader.
But bad decisions are not limited to individuals. There is no magic that grants a group infallible wisdom, or the infallible ability to heed infallible wisdom when they come across it. It's for these reasons I'm not really keen on democracy either. This is where the United States of America, the "government of the people, by the people, for the people," and I part ways. In my experience, the people don't know what they're talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about, except for this, the conviction that we're all inept. That I do know, and believe.
It's this conviction that makes it hard for me to get involved with government and politics. I genuinely can't do it. Call me a fatalist if you will, but I believe so strongly that none of us will ever get it right that my conscience won't let me. I don't talk politics with my friends. I don't follow the latest news from the campaign trail. I haven't even ever voted for anything, and unless my convictions change it doesn't seem likely that I ever will.
I believe that infallible wisdom is only found in God. In deciding how to live my life, he's the source to which I look. I can't make everybody do that, though. God doesn't even make everybody do that. Therefore, our human governments can't dictate that God be considered when decisions are made. But when we don't chaos follows accordingly.
For those familiar with biblical history, you may remember God warned his people, the nation of Israel, that would happen to them. In case you need a refresher, or your biblical history knowledge is lacking on the whole, they didn't believe it. They begged to be given a human king. Other peoples had kings, and the last thing Israel wanted was to be left out. As a nation, they wanted to be taken seriously as a peer to the rest of the world, so when God told them he was the only king they needed, they rejected the idea. God gave them a king, then, and they quickly fell into ruin. The first three kings left sordid stories behind them, and by the time the fourth one came around, the nation split into two. If God's own chosen can't fare any better than that, it doesn't look good for the rest of us.
I guess, then, I'm not purely un-American. Un-Earthly is a better description. If any person presumes to make decisions for a people, whether they be autonomous in their decision-making or working with others, and they do it apart from God, I can't jump in and participate.
The reality which can't be overlooked, though, is that I am living on the earth under earthly rule. As long as I'm here I can't escape it. And I think out of all the nationalities available, being an American isn't so bad. It's great, actually. I'm safer here than I would be in many places around the world. I have opportunities that wouldn't be as readily available elsewhere. I also don't have people threatening to break down my door, or worse, because I follow and talk about Jesus. For all these things and more I am grateful. I could have been born anywhere, but I was born here, in privilege and blessing. Glory to God.
So I follow the rules, like a good citizen. And I don't grumble about taxes. One thing I feel I need to make clear is even though I am a discontent citizen, that does not mean I am a rebellious one. I seek to neither defy nor overturn any governments, least of all my own, and although I do not feel released to continually assert my voice in how the government should be run, I do not project my convictions on anyone else. To the contrary, I think it's important for people like me who value God's direction and still feel freedom to exercise their rights in full to do so. By all means, vote. Run for public office. Become president. I do not mean to suggest in anything I have written that all people who care anything about God should pull out of government and politics. Like every messy thing in life, governance requires grace. I have not been given the grace for such things. If you have, live in that grace. I have been given grace to do other things that I notice are not common in all people, so it's those things in which I strive and hope to live wholeheartedly, and it's also those things which I am not surprised to find people avoiding like their lives are dependent on it. In a way they are.
I'm sure it goes without saying, but I have not voted early for the impending presidential election like so many have, nor will I be queuing up in front of a polling booth on Tuesday. (Side note: in the six years I've been eligible, I have never registered to vote. As an almost chronic gypsy, having these particular convictions has been convenient; no registration transferring!) Whoever wins the election, I wish them the best. And I pray for it, too. I wouldn't wish the job of American President on my enemy. That's probably because my lack of grace in that area has rendered me unable to imagine how anyone could bear up under it. I sincerely hope the guy who wins over the Electoral College on Tuesday can.
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I like conversation. Your comments promote conversation. You know what to do. Vielen Dank.