For a while now, I have been living my life to cater to the good of my family. When someone says jump, I jump. When I was stuck at home and saw we were floundering with nothing to eat, I took it upon myself to find out how to save as much money as possible so we could have groceries in the house. And I sincerely felt like it was important for me to hunker down and listen, wait, and serve until time was ripe for change.
But every once in a while I sing, and I feel alive, alerting me to the fact I've been lacking life unaware. Every once in a while I hear from a friend, and the familiarity I feel from connecting with them makes me realize how much of a stranger they've become. Tonight, I spend more time online than I have in a while, and the movement of my fingers typing words gives me a thrill I didn't realize I was missing without the regular practice of writing.
I've been passively disengaging from all these things for the good of my family, but I can't help but wonder if I'm doing them or myself any good by letting my vibrancy fade.
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One thing I do know for sure is I want to live now more than I've ever wanted before.
But every once in a while I sing, and I feel alive, alerting me to the fact I've been lacking life unaware. Every once in a while I hear from a friend, and the familiarity I feel from connecting with them makes me realize how much of a stranger they've become. Tonight, I spend more time online than I have in a while, and the movement of my fingers typing words gives me a thrill I didn't realize I was missing without the regular practice of writing.
I've been passively disengaging from all these things for the good of my family, but I can't help but wonder if I'm doing them or myself any good by letting my vibrancy fade.
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One thing I do know for sure is I want to live now more than I've ever wanted before.
