Big blog news!

Here in the Boro, at our cozy house in the middle of town, we now have access to the Internet!

I can't help but share my joy. Everywhere.

What this means for my blog, is that I expect an increase of posts, and maybe even an increase of organized posts. In short, more activity; with all hope, orderly activity. If we're lucky, interesting orderly activity.

That may not thrill you at all, but it's putting a smile on my face. See? :-)

Will my hopes transform into realities? Stay tuned with me and we'll find out together.

I had a dream...a coupon dream.

While I still have the Internet handy and can spontaneously share what I'm thinking:

I've been preoccupied with coupons lately.

On the Tuesday after Christmas, half of the people who were here at my grandma's house were all sick. And the rest weren't really a bundle of energy either. So we spent the day watching TV. (As an aside, that was one of the most enjoyable days I have ever spent watching the television. Even TV's not so bad when you share the experience with some of your favorite people.) Most of the time was spent watching Extreme Couponing. Although I had heard about it, I had never seen the show before. I tend to live in a television no-man's land. But one of my cousins obviously does not live in the same land, because when I turned it over there, he said, "Oh, I love this show!"

And he really did. As episode after episode came on, he had already seen each one of them. Multiple times.

As I was discomfitedly lounging in a recliner, willing my head and throat to stop hurting, shivering, and praying for the coughing to stop, I was captivated. People saving 98% at the grocery store, 99%, 100%, even 104%. It was amazing.

I never have been afraid of coupons. I've always had a soft spot in my heart set aside just for them. But my family never has used many. Coupons take organization, and as long as my family has been in the position where saving money has been really appealing, we've been rather unorganized. Everyone has their strong points, and that was not ours while I was growing up. In our defense, we've had challenges that don't facilitate organization, but at the same time, there was room for improvement even with those challenges. But again, everyone has their strong points. And grace is sufficient for the rest. And grace has covered the disorganization.  Back to the point, in the midst of the disorganization, better employing coupons has been a closet dream of mine, but I gave it up.

However, life is new. I like new. I am 23 years old. When I was a kid, I couldn't do much. But now, as an adult, I am in a better position to help foster more organization in my family as long as I am still a part of the closely knit unit and take on a job like this myself (or mostly myself). In the middle of working, raising kids, taking care of the house (or apartment, trailer, wherever we happened to live), and trying to stay sane in the middle of chaos, my parents did just about all of the organizing that they could. Their long patience and faithfulness has paid off, and now they have a child who can help them. :-) Also, I hope soon to be gainfully employed, and with money of my own, I can buy food. And, another new thing is that my family has seen some of the hardest times we've ever experienced lately, so the motivation do better has increased to a new high.

Thus, my dream of masterfully wielding coupons has been rekindled. And it seems more tangible now than it ever has before.

My trouble is we still don't have access to the Internet at home. The Internet is key in all of the fantastic money-saving strategies that these extreme couponers come up with. They compare store ads with a few clicks of their mouse. They find coupons online that can't be found in print. The world wide web helps them do serious research, and as is usually true of research, it's profitable. I can do a certain amount of research going to find wifi, but printing is a sticky situation.

Also, I'm not interested in buying junk. There are a lot of coupons out there for junk. I don't care if frozen dinners are on sale and with a coupon I can get them for $0.10, I don't want to buy them, because I don't want to eat them. Not only has poverty made my stomach shrink, it's made me realize how important the things I do eat are. And in the average collection of coupons I see, I don't find any for a lot of things I want to buy. But as I haven't done much research, who's to say they're not out there?

Back to where we began, then, I am preoccupied with coupons. More than just coupons, I'm preoccupied with finding ways to save money so that my family and I can have a better life. I want to see what I can do. I want to see what tools are available. I'm not expecting anything too grand, but I'll never know until I try.

So I'm sitting here at my grandma's house googling coupons. In time, I'll let you know if anything comes of this. Who knows, maybe I'll be on TV one day.

2011's Literature List

Like I discussed in my last post, and like I'm sure you are aware without my informing you, 2011 is now complete. It was...a lot of things. In my world, one of those things, when looked at through a literature point of view, was productive.

I started this list fairly late in the year, so when I did, I had a lot to add to it at once. Because there was so much from the start, I fostered grand visions of reading at least 52 books before the last day of December passed and everyone in Times Square started kissing their neighbors. I figured an average of one a week, especially since I was unemployed with a degree in book-reading, would be a fairly easy yet admirable goal to achieve.

But, like it tends to do, life had other agendas which were obviously too pressing to let pass, and I didn't have so much time on my hands. I still managed a final total of 44, however, which is pretty near 52, if my math skills are still any good. I'm pleased. I can't really tell, though, to what degree my pleasure should extend. I didn't make my goal, which leaves me feeling like there's something left undone. I also am unsure if I would have even made my goal had I not been so busy and could have devoted more time to reading. And I really don't know much about the reading habits of most people to be able to compare. For all I know what I accomplished could just be a'ight or it might be super human. (I'm really not leaning toward either one, not being given to extremes. I think I'm in the middle?) Not that how the population's reading habits stack up to each other really matters, but it's nice sometimes to know where you fit with other people, you know? And not that the quantity of books I read in a given period matters either. What matters is I did read something and my life was enriched.

Enough finger jabbering. I read 44 books in 2011. I'm happy about that. The aforementioned year is now only a memory, which means two things:

1. It's time to get reading and start a list for 2012.
2. It's also time to archive the list from 2011.

I've already begun #1 with Herodotus' Histories. And here we are with #2. My list of books read in 2011 archived in full. With commentary added. The post I present as it was the last time I updated it, with the added commentary in parentheses.

Happy reading!




Here is presented a list of books, or anything that I consider closely resembles a book, I have read this year. For the first five months of the current year, I was still an undergraduate. Therefore many of them were read with the fear of not graduating if I failed to do so, but I'm nerdy enough that I enjoyed them nonetheless. So much so that I want to read some of them again, outside of a classroom, where I can come at them from a different perspective. I will keep adding to the list as books are finished.

In alphabetical order:

1. Areopagitica by John Milton 

(Treasure free expression, truth, or books? This is a work for you. You'll fall in love with him just as much as I did.

Here's a quotation to tickle your fancy: "For books are not absolutely dead things, but do contain a potency of life in them to be as active as that soul whose progeny they are; nay, they do preserve as in a vial the purest efficacy and extraction of that living intellect that bred them."

Oh, what they hey, here's another: "I cannot praise a fugitive and cloistered virtue, unexercised and unbreathed, that never sallies out and sees her adversary but slinks out of the race, where that immortal garland is to be run for, not without dust and heat."

And another one (I can't resist): "Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties."

Ah, Milton.)

2. The Beggar's Opera by John Gay

(After (or before) you read this, listen to a recording of a performance of it, because it is, after all, meant for performance. It will enhance the reading experience. The first person who needs to follow this advice is me. I haven't ever heard the whole thing. I studied this in one of my music history classes, but in the class we didn't study the whole thing. So I've heard only a portion. (On a side note, the English professor whose class I read this in really, really downplayed its relation to the wildly popular Italian opera of the time. He mentioned that it is often seen as a kind of rebellion against its more popular sister, but kind of shooed it away as being mostly irrelevant. It was one of the few times I wanted to say, "Wait a second, the bulk of what you're saying is quite fascinating and has plenty of merit, but on this one point, you're wrong! What do you know about opera?" I didn't challenge him, though. Here's to not rocking the boat.))

3. Belinda by Maria Edgeworth

4. Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller

(This book was published in '03. Like, everyone and their brother (amongst people who read books and who have any interest in the church or Jesus) read this book sometime in the 7 years between then and now, mostly within the first 5, I expect. But I didn't read it until this year. For the longest, after hearing about this book everywhere I turned and realizing that the circle of people who hadn't read it was growing ever smaller, I called myself a bad postmodern Christian. Which on the one hand, the larger hand, if you're in my head and are acquainted with my sense of humor, was really just a joke. An attempt at humor. On the other hand, though, the smaller hand, the scholarly and culturally conscious hand, was a bit of a critique. As much credence as I don't give to trends, I still wanted to read it. Because that's what I do. And a lot of people whose opinions I respected said good things about it. So I vowed to give it a shot. And that vow was kept this summer.

By the way, I liked it.)

5. Daisy Miller: A Study by Henry James

6. Deathtrap by Ira Levin


7. East of Eden by John Steinbeck

(This just might make you think about the first couple chapters of Genesis in a different way. If you're like me, you'll probably take those considerations and store them away in the back of your mental filing room when you're done, but it's always good to think new thoughts. Oh, and Steinbeck was a really good storyteller.)

8. Equus by Peter Shaffer

(This play was both less and more disturbing than all of the hubbub I had heard led me to expect. That being said, if you really like horses - or really hate them - you might want to keep this one at arm's length.)

9. Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven, But Nobody Wants to Die by David Crowder and Mike Hogan

(Eschatology and bluegrass all wrapped up together in a quirky little metaphorical package. It was delightful.)

10. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

(Abandon all notions you have received from movies/popular culture. And prepare for your sympathy genes to kick in.)

11. God, the Devil, and Harry Potter: A Christian Minister's Defense of the Beloved Novels by John Killinger

(This is, I think, the third book of its type that I've read. You could classify it as a mix between literary criticism and well-meaning Christians wanting to reassure the world that J.K. Rowling isn't a minion of Satan. I appreciate their efforts. This Mr. Killinger has doctorates in both religion and literature, so he seems to be quite qualified to discuss the subject. The book itself is pretty outdated, as it was written after only four books in the series had been published. If you're not familiar with the world of HP, this could be a gateway to help you learn more. If you're like me, though, the plot summary may bore you. There's a lot of it. But on the whole, if the subject is close to your heart, a worthy read.)

12. Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott

(The first book by Anne Lamott I've read. I'm a fan.)

13. The Hidden Hand by E.D.E.N. Southworth

(Rollicking good fun. You won't find it on any classics lists, but it just might hold your attention and make you smile.)

14. The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews by Henry Fielding

15. Homegrown Democrat: A Few Plain Thoughts from the Heart of America by Garrison Keillor

(I'm not particularly politically polarized. But I do have a soft spot in my heart for Garrison Keillor. I liked reading what he had to say.)

16. How I Learned to Drive by Paula Vogel

(Don't be fooled by the title. This play isn't really about driving. It's about something much more sorrowful and frightening than driving. If you're fragile when faced with mental perversion, this may need to go on a 'don't read' list.)

17. Iola Leroy by Frances Ellen Watkins Harper

18. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

19. John Milton's Epic Invocations: Converting the Muse by Philip Edward Phillips

(The professor who taught the class I took on Milton wrote this. Imagine that, a professor teaching with his own books and requiring his students to buy them. Don't mind my sarcasm, though. He's insightful. And the only English professor I had twice. I like him.)

20. King Arthur and His Knights by Sir James Knowles

(No, this isn't Le Morte d'Arthur by Sir Thomas Malory, but if you really like knights and jousting, it's worth your time.)

21. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

(I'm in love. And can't stop asking myself why I didn't read it sooner.

Here's a taste (English translation, of course): "The pupil dilates in the night and at last finds day in it, even as the soul dilates in misfortune and at last finds God in it.")

22. The Life and Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens


23. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

(Most women who read read this when they actually are a little woman. I didn't. Why? I don't know. Now that I have read it, I love it.)

24. Maggie: A Girl of the Streets by Stephen Crane

25. The Man that Corrupted Hadleyburg by Mark Twain


26. Mary Poppins by P.L. Travers

27. A Mask Presented At Ludlow Castle, 1634 by John Milton

28. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller

(I really love Don's affection for and the attention he gives to story. I'm a fan.)

29. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, Written by Himself by Frederick Douglass

30. Oedipus the King by Sophocles; translated by Robert Fagles

31. Paradise Lost by John Milton

(Had I not been a John Milton fan before I read this, I would have been convinced with this epic. The man's a beast. And really smart. And it's fun to see how he took the biblical story of the creations of the earth and hell and filled in the gaps with his imagination.)

32. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

(Oh, I love Oscar Wilde. He was kind of twisted (who isn't?), but he was bang-up writer.)

33. Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan

(Western culture has been irrevocably tinged by this and I think most people don't even know it. I'm happy to be in the loop at last.)

34. A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry

35. The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller

(Good book. I wanted to read it in 2010. I had heard a little about it, and I figured I could quote the man in a paper I was writing, which would have been great, because I needed another source. I looked for the book all over the place, but I couldn't find it. And I didn't have time to buy it online. So I scrambled at the last minute to find a different source. I found (a questionable) one that I was able to tie in and it all worked out. But after I read this over a year later, I almost wanted to rewrite my paper. I haven't done that yet, but I just might. I really liked that paper.)

36. Rees Howells: Intercessor by Norman Grubb

(If you don't have a solid handle on how God provides (and really, nobody does), you should read this book. Even if you've witnessed provisional miracles in your own life, it's always good to hear stories about God's faithfulness.)

37. The Rise of Silas Lapham by William Dean Howells

38. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe

(Think you know Robinson Crusoe? Do you know how long it takes for him to get stranded on that blasted island? Longer than I thought.)

39. School of Christ by T. Austin-Sparks

(The words in this little book, which is basically a transcription of sermons, are really good at helping to put Christ at the complete center of your life. Of everything. It might rock your world.)

40. Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller

(This year, I actually read this book for the second time. I read it the first time in 2008. When I read it previously, I borrowed it from a friend. But I bought a copy for myself this year, and remembered I liked it, but couldn't really remember why I liked it. It had been a while. So I refreshed my memory. Now I know. This book kind of blew my mind the first time I read it, and kind of did the same thing again when I read it this year.)

41. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

42. Song of Myself by Walt Whitman

43. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire

(Umm....not what I expected. And not really in a good way. But Mr. Maguire is a great writer. And seems to love classic literature as much as I do. I'll leave it at that.)

44. The World of Music - 7th Edition by David Willoughby

(This is a textbook. A run of the mill one. For an introductory music class. But I read the whole thing (which is kind of rare for most textbooks of its type used in a college setting), so it made the list.)

"In the hands of the one who makes all things new."

I'm kind of behind on this...but a day late and a dollar short seems to have been my modus operandi for the past six months, so I guess it fits. Here I go...

I'm not usually one to make a ruckus about a new year. Time keeps moving forward and I don't often feel compelled to commemorate its passing. I'm the type who's too busy looking at where my feet are and have been to look far enough in front of me to build up the required anticipatory enthusiasm for celebrating something like the arrival of a new year. It's here before I really have time to prepare, and then, in the shock of the moment, I typically look back and reflect on the one that just passed before I give much thought to the one I just landed in. By the time my head has returned to a forward position, the newness of the year has faded, and, in complete honesty, we humans aren't always prone to make a big deal about things that aren't shiny. So I wave a belated farewell to the shiny new year, and I get down to the business of living in the comfortably worn year which I have found myself.

Thus, from me, a turn-of-the-year post like this would usually major on the highlights that I could pick out from the closing year and minor on thoughts devoted to the blossoming one.

Not this time.

I spent half of 2011 reflecting on 2011. I'm done reflecting on 2011. Now that 2012 is here, I don't want to forget 2011, but I do want to put it away for a while. Like an old man who has seen a lot of life, it was tired. The tired need rest. Death is the ultimate rest, and, as is true for all people at some point, it was time for 2011 to face the final rest of death. Unlike most people, though - whom are usually remembered fondly from the moment they are graced with death - I have yet to think back on 2011 very fondly. I will. In time. I think. It's just not time yet.

That being said, I am convinced that I am more excited about 2012 than I have been for any year I have lived previously. Like 2011, I was tired. Not tired to the point of death, but tired enough to want rest. To want new. 2012 still carries the promise of new. New doesn't always mean good, or better. It just means new.

Behold, the promise of new. 

I like that promise.

And, I'm not gonna lie, I also kind of like the fact that a lot of things are looking pretty worn out, so by virtue of being new, there's a 99% certainty they will be better.

So no looking behind now. Here's to new. To finding a job. To learning new things. To looking at life with anticipation and not dread. To no longer watching my family struggle through physical survival, but rather have lives so full there's a struggle to make it all fit.

And as much as I wish it for myself, I wish it for you, too. God grant you newness this year, in more than just  numbers on a calendar.

Amen.

Somewhere between life as I knew it and life as it will be.

How to begin, how to begin....

Contrary to what my location says on here, I am not in the Boro. I'm at my grandma's house, about halfway between Conway and Vilonia in the grand state of Arkansas.

I'm posting from my grandma's house because she has an Internet connection. My house back in the Boro doesn't.

That's right...my grandma has an Internet connection and I don't. She's hardcore. (She even social networks more than I ever could have dreamed of doing, but that's another story for another time.)

If you keep up with my posts (Lord bless you for your graciousness if you do), you may have noticed that I haven't produced anything in a while.

With time I expect a fuller picture of my life over the past six months will emerge, but the fullness of that time is not wrapped up in now. But I will begin with a piece.

The Internet connection at my house disappeared in October. I tapped into a wi-fi connection regularly for the remainder of the month, but eventually even doing that became difficult. Keeping up with a life of interaction on the Internet requires momentum. I lost what little momentum I had. I was out for a while, and the longer I stayed out, the easier it was to stay out. I found myself thinking, "Hey, now would be a good time to go get online," and would immediately ask myself, "What good would it do, though? I can't do much in the next couple of hours. Before I could even catch up it would be time to go." So I let it -the Internet and all life attached to it- go.

October left for November to take its place. I didn't get online at all in the month of November. Do you know how huge of a statement...of a reality...that is? Coming from me? Coming from a 20-something living in the 21st Century? I'll say it again. I didn't get online at all in the month of November.

December came quickly after, and before tonight, I only got online once earlier this month to try to take care of some important business (which I couldn't address in that one sitting and is still left undone...another story and all that).

During this time, I have been becoming reacquainted with what life used to be like, both my short one and human life in general. After I lost the Internet I even lost access to a functioning television for a while, which is a reality I had not known in my brief 23 years. (I've lived without indoor plumbing but never without a TV. Ah, the modern age.)

The only thing that has kept me from feeling entirely disconnected to the greater world around me was my cell phone (which was even spotty and questionable quite a bit of the time). Thanks to Twitter through texting, I've kept up with the tweet-worthy happenings of a few of my friends, as well as sent enough updates to not feel like I fell from the face of the planet. I've even texted in a few Facebook statuses, but Facebook through texting gets sketchy. Also, wonder of all wonders, a few people have even called me to chat. Did you know that people still do that? Make phone calls? And talk to each other? With their voices? Just because? Well, they do.

Since I still don't have an Internet connection at home and it's Christmastime and things are busy, it would still be really easy to stay away. But I do know that there are some people out there who actually pay attention to the things that I post (which I consider an honor) and have no clue what's been going on (or no clue that anything has been going on at all), so for them, here I am. If you're one of them, you have my gratitude.

Also, if you're one of the people who have been praying for and thinking of me and/or my family in the past months, thank you as well, whether you've known any details about the happenings of our lives or not. For those who don't know, things have been much more surprising and challenging than I expected them to be anytime soon. I've seen some trouble, and I've always been conscious of a promise for more, but I seem to have been under a delusion that the more was to come later. And every time that I have felt like we five were alone in our tiny corner of the world, I was reminded that there are a remarkable number of people who actually do know something about what's going on, and an additional number of people who haven't a clue, yet think warm thoughts about and conjure happy feelings for us out of the blue anyway, many of whom I know are guided by the Holy Spirit and have prayed sincerely whenever we've come to mind.

Adversity is a learning experience. Generally speaking, I like to learn.

A few short months away from obtaining an undergraduate degree, letting go of the burden of academia, and exploring more of the riches that life has to offer, I began this year in a state of optimism. I'm ending it in one as well. The time in between has been far different than anywhere my imagination had dared to go, and harder than I would have chosen, but a promise of newness is arising. We're in a new house, a new year doth quickly approach, I've learned new things, and in some ways I feel like a new person.

Ever faithful, the one seated on the throne is still saying, "Behold! I make all things new." Amen.

Abundance in drought.

Waiting, waiting.

Pressure builds.

You'd think eventually the top would pop off.

Sides are threatening to explode at their seams.

Seams that I didn't know where there until their strength was tested.

Surely there can't be anymore room?

But there is. Always, it seems.

I don't know from where it all comes.

It's like someone put an undetectable extension charm on my life.

I don't care so much that no one else can detect it, but it'd be nice if I could sometimes. Save me a lot of grief.

But then where would be the room for grace?

If there was infinite space and I knew it, grace wouldn't find a hole big enough to inhabit.

But with all crevices stuffed to their limits, grace multiplies.

It abounds.

...and here's where I quote "Rawhide."

I still got it.

What is it I still have? (Other than a propensity to abandon formal grammar on occasion?)

Packing skills. Relocation packing skills. specifically.

After talking about it for a long time, my family and I are preparing to move. "Somethin's gotta give" has been our desperate prayer for a while, and as nothing has shown an inclination to give for a few months now, it has been made clear to us that it's time to go somewhere else. The place we are living is the largest contributor to our burden. Our time here was blessed for a while - a long while - but it seems pretty clear now that it's time to move on.

We've been in this house for 3 years and 5 months. My brothers and I have never lived anywhere nearly that long before. After being stationary for such a time, as I prepared to start packing a box, I momentarily wondered if I would have to pack and repack it a few times to figure out how to use its space most efficiently. For those who don't know, packing is a skill. Like most skills it becomes (and stays) more refined with practice. Aside from my frequent weekend trips and summers at camp, my packing skills have not been used in years.

But as it turns out, in this case at least, packing is like riding bike. I shuffled the contents of the box ever so slightly as I was putting them in, but I mostly just looked at the box, looked at my junk, and my brain keenly deduced how to best fill the former with the latter. Thank goodness.

Where and when we're moving we do not yet know. But this isn't the first time we've blindly packed, nor do I expect it to be the last. I do expect this to be the last family move that we make. My parents are keen to relocate somewhere else as soon as they can, and my brother and I are both keen to stay in this area (as well as live by ourselves :) ). Until my parents are ready to do that, though, we need to reduce and simplify. So once more we shall find another place to live together, and fondly think back on all of the wandering memories we've made while making one last set of new ones.

So now I sift through my belongings, deciding what to pack and what to relinquish from my possession. Can you guess what are the only things I've packed so far? Books. What do I still have a lot left to pack? Books. Counting all of my possessions, what makes up the majority of what I own and have to pack? Books. What makes up the majority of what I've decided to get rid of? Books.

So I guess one day if I ever am truly poor and have nothing to eat, I'll have plenty of paper to satisfy me.

But that comment spawns another post altogether....