This has been a rough week. Why? I don't really know.
All I know is, I haven't felt this tired in a while. I've been sleepy since I woke up Monday morning. I am known for not sleeping, so you might think that it's catching up with me, but I have slept more this week than I have in a long time. And maybe that's my issue. I'm just not accustomed to sleeping this much. But one wouldn't think that getting extra sleep at night would make you start nodding off in class much more than usual....
This week has also been light on the homework front. Which means less stress. And with less stress, the logical result is that one will feel better. Logic seems to have failed me this time.
My mother looked at me last night while I was feeling cold and miserable and said, "You look weary." Yes, Mama, that's because I am. Those were the words that ran through my head, but I didn't actually say that to her. Speaking seemed to be a bit too difficult at the moment. All I managed to muster to was a slight nod in agreement.
Whatever the source of my weariness, I plan on resting and rejuvenating this weekend. I don't know exactly what that's going to look like. We'll see. I already feel somewhat rejuvenated. My littlest brother, Austyn, and I were at home alone for several hours this afternoon/early evening and we spent some quality brother/sister time together, during which two of the things we did were wash some dishes and bake a cake. We made a good team, both on the dish washing front and the cake baking front. It helps that baking is one of my favorite things to do. (Dish washing certainly is not. It makes me feel quite sick.) But I think that having some fun with Austyn was what made the most difference. I am amazed at how much better I feel now than I did this afternoon.
So perhaps the weariness stems at least in part from me feeling slightly heartsick from not doing what I love and having enough fun. So maybe I should forget about my homework and sing, dance and play the rest of the weekend!
It sounds good in theory, at least. ;)
Friday, February 20, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A step of faith
Jason Gray has quickly become one of my favorite musicians, so when I saw that he was going to be about an hour and a half from my house, I decided that I had to go see him. So, last night, that's what I did. Since he was the opening act, he only played three songs, but they were three fantastic songs. I had a great time, and my brother and I talked with him briefly afterward. It was an amazing night.
But I think that what made it the most amazing was something entirely different.
Through Jason Gray and his label mates (and my not-so-secret obsession) downhere I have heard much about the work of World Vision. And from all that I've seen and heard, I've always thought that what they're doing is great and part of me felt drawn to be a part of it, to sign up to sponsor a child. But I just told myself over and over again that I couldn't afford it. I don't have any steady income. What money I do get lasts as long as it lasts and when it's gone, it's gone. I still depend on my parents to make sure that I don't starve and that I'm able to take a bath, so how in the world would I be able to send someone money every month?
Last night, Jason talked to all of us about World Vision and all these places around the world that are far worse off than I ever am even on my worst of days. And I felt like God was saying, "Emily, you have no excuse. Sure, maybe you don't have much money, but the money's mine anyway. I'll give you whatever you need."
So I did it. I went to the World Vision table after the show and signed up to sponsor a beautiful girl. Her name is Snethemba Ladylove. Her name was what led me to choose her. There were so many faces, it was overwhelming, but I saw "Ladylove" and knew immediately that she was the one. She'll be 14 really soon in March and she lives in South Africa with her grandmother and her two sisters.
I have no idea where the money for this is going to come from every month. I'm trusting in God to make sure it's there. He is faithful and he provides.
But I think that what made it the most amazing was something entirely different.
Through Jason Gray and his label mates (and my not-so-secret obsession) downhere I have heard much about the work of World Vision. And from all that I've seen and heard, I've always thought that what they're doing is great and part of me felt drawn to be a part of it, to sign up to sponsor a child. But I just told myself over and over again that I couldn't afford it. I don't have any steady income. What money I do get lasts as long as it lasts and when it's gone, it's gone. I still depend on my parents to make sure that I don't starve and that I'm able to take a bath, so how in the world would I be able to send someone money every month?
Last night, Jason talked to all of us about World Vision and all these places around the world that are far worse off than I ever am even on my worst of days. And I felt like God was saying, "Emily, you have no excuse. Sure, maybe you don't have much money, but the money's mine anyway. I'll give you whatever you need."
So I did it. I went to the World Vision table after the show and signed up to sponsor a beautiful girl. Her name is Snethemba Ladylove. Her name was what led me to choose her. There were so many faces, it was overwhelming, but I saw "Ladylove" and knew immediately that she was the one. She'll be 14 really soon in March and she lives in South Africa with her grandmother and her two sisters.
I have no idea where the money for this is going to come from every month. I'm trusting in God to make sure it's there. He is faithful and he provides.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Please, may I have your attention.
Apparently I needed more proof that I need to slow down, because I got some today. Nothing big, but just something else to add to the list.
I went to Wal-Mart a little while ago, and when I got home I realized that I made some purchasing errors. Being the cheapskate that I am, that's never a pleasant realization.
1.) I found a shirt there that I liked that had a sticker on it that said $3.00. I thought, "Hey, $3, I can do that. I don't find clothes that cheap very often." But when I was checking out, I didn't make sure it came up as $3. I just bought it without paying attention. When I looked at my receipt after I got home, it was listed as $5. Oh. If the tag had said $5, I wouldn't have even considered buying it. Why didn't I pay attention when I was checking out? Yes, it's only a $2 difference, and that's alright, but the point is that I should have been paying attention.
2.) I also purchased some new underwear. If this idea makes you uncomfortable, you won't want to read beyond this point. For the rest of you, I thought that I picked up the same kind of underwear that I usually buy, but I get home and take a closer look, and sure enough, they were different. They may work just fine and it won't be a problem at all, but still I should have been paying attention.
Also, after my concert this afternoon, I got the clothes out of the car that I had brought to change into out of my hot, black choir dress, and I headed to the bathroom to put them on. I'm standing in the stall, stripped down to my undergarments before I realize that I left my shirt in the car. Crud. So I start putting my dress back on and just then my mom walks into the bathroom. She had noticed my shirt sitting the back seat and she brought it to me. Thank God for mothers.
I was obviously scatter-brained today. Maybe this week will be better. Or maybe it won't and I'll accumulate more reasons to laugh at myself. Either way, I'll count that as a win.
I went to Wal-Mart a little while ago, and when I got home I realized that I made some purchasing errors. Being the cheapskate that I am, that's never a pleasant realization.
1.) I found a shirt there that I liked that had a sticker on it that said $3.00. I thought, "Hey, $3, I can do that. I don't find clothes that cheap very often." But when I was checking out, I didn't make sure it came up as $3. I just bought it without paying attention. When I looked at my receipt after I got home, it was listed as $5. Oh. If the tag had said $5, I wouldn't have even considered buying it. Why didn't I pay attention when I was checking out? Yes, it's only a $2 difference, and that's alright, but the point is that I should have been paying attention.
2.) I also purchased some new underwear. If this idea makes you uncomfortable, you won't want to read beyond this point. For the rest of you, I thought that I picked up the same kind of underwear that I usually buy, but I get home and take a closer look, and sure enough, they were different. They may work just fine and it won't be a problem at all, but still I should have been paying attention.
Also, after my concert this afternoon, I got the clothes out of the car that I had brought to change into out of my hot, black choir dress, and I headed to the bathroom to put them on. I'm standing in the stall, stripped down to my undergarments before I realize that I left my shirt in the car. Crud. So I start putting my dress back on and just then my mom walks into the bathroom. She had noticed my shirt sitting the back seat and she brought it to me. Thank God for mothers.
I was obviously scatter-brained today. Maybe this week will be better. Or maybe it won't and I'll accumulate more reasons to laugh at myself. Either way, I'll count that as a win.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Cousin It lives on my floor.
That came off of my carpet. It's a wad of hair, in case you can't tell. And yes, it is that massive. Nearly the size of my hand.I am currently in the process of cleaning my room. I just vacuumed the floor. But before I vacuum the floor, I always have to do a pre-vacuum with my hands to pick up all the hair. If I tried to get it with the vacuum, the machine would clog, the beater bar would get so tangled it would be useless, and I'd have an even bigger mess on my hands. (Can you tell that I speak from experience?) So I get down on my hands and knees, crawl around on the floor, and rub my hands in circles across the carpet to get as much as I can.
Be thankful you didn't see how much I picked up when I didn't clean my room for three months!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Conductor, slow down the train!
I'm running out of steam. I feel like I've been running a mile a minute, quite ungracefully, much like a chicken with its head cut off. And even then, I can't seem to catch up. I still have so much to do at the end of every day. And I have a continual sleep-debt. There are days when I'm walking around and my eyes are open, but I almost feel like I'm sleeping while going about my business.
Besides being so tired, I'm so wrapped up in my junk that I feel like I can't look up; there's no time to look up if I'm to do what I need to do. I don't like that, because I start pushing out good things, even necessary things. I've still been making time to read the Bible every day, and I'm happy about that, but I still feel like I'm not giving God enough time. I just kinda throw a few thoughts in his direction throughout the day, and before I drift off to sleep I'll say something like, "Hey. I thank you that I'm still alive. I'm tired. I need to go to sleep. Good night."
That's not how it should be. But I don't know what to do. Or at least, I can't see what I need to do. I find that often, God has already given me the answers to my questions, but I'm so caught up in the question that I can't see anything else.
I need to back out of the question.
But I can't back out of the question, because then I won't get done what needs to be done.
But I'm already not getting done what needs to be done.
I need to back out of the question....
Besides being so tired, I'm so wrapped up in my junk that I feel like I can't look up; there's no time to look up if I'm to do what I need to do. I don't like that, because I start pushing out good things, even necessary things. I've still been making time to read the Bible every day, and I'm happy about that, but I still feel like I'm not giving God enough time. I just kinda throw a few thoughts in his direction throughout the day, and before I drift off to sleep I'll say something like, "Hey. I thank you that I'm still alive. I'm tired. I need to go to sleep. Good night."
That's not how it should be. But I don't know what to do. Or at least, I can't see what I need to do. I find that often, God has already given me the answers to my questions, but I'm so caught up in the question that I can't see anything else.
I need to back out of the question.
But I can't back out of the question, because then I won't get done what needs to be done.
But I'm already not getting done what needs to be done.
I need to back out of the question....
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I'm so square.
I was going to write this last night, but I fell asleep before I had the chance. Goes to show how tired I was, because I don't normally just fall asleep.
I got in my cry for the week. And it came nice and early in the week, so chances are that more will come later and I'll exceed my weekly average.
On my Facebook, you can find me saying, "I'm one of a kind. Whether that's a good thing or not, I have still yet to determine," and "I march to my own beat and I like it that way." Well, yesterday I had one of those times in which I wasn't liking it so much which leads to me not being able to determine if my uniqueness is really such a good thing after all.
Now that I've had some time to sleep on it, I'm not feeling quite so down, but yesterday I was struggling a little. That happens from time to time and I just have to work through my lament and sooner or later I come out on the other side.
But yesterday was a trying day. I won't go into all the inky details, but I felt like everything that negatively impacted me, came as a result of me or the things that I do being different. I do not fit any conventional standards and it makes things difficult sometimes. I picture myself as a square trying to fit into a circular hole and it just doesn't work.
Like I said, I'm feeling pretty normal again. I'm still a square who can't fit into a circle, but that's alright. I don't have to fit in a circle. And I'm glad I don't fit in circles, because, as they say, variety is the spice of life. I don't want to be like anyone else.
And in reality, even the ones who appear most circular have little corners that stick out here and there. So why in the world are we trying to fit in circles that weren't made for us? Even preschoolers know that doesn't work.
I got in my cry for the week. And it came nice and early in the week, so chances are that more will come later and I'll exceed my weekly average.
On my Facebook, you can find me saying, "I'm one of a kind. Whether that's a good thing or not, I have still yet to determine," and "I march to my own beat and I like it that way." Well, yesterday I had one of those times in which I wasn't liking it so much which leads to me not being able to determine if my uniqueness is really such a good thing after all.
Now that I've had some time to sleep on it, I'm not feeling quite so down, but yesterday I was struggling a little. That happens from time to time and I just have to work through my lament and sooner or later I come out on the other side.
But yesterday was a trying day. I won't go into all the inky details, but I felt like everything that negatively impacted me, came as a result of me or the things that I do being different. I do not fit any conventional standards and it makes things difficult sometimes. I picture myself as a square trying to fit into a circular hole and it just doesn't work.
Like I said, I'm feeling pretty normal again. I'm still a square who can't fit into a circle, but that's alright. I don't have to fit in a circle. And I'm glad I don't fit in circles, because, as they say, variety is the spice of life. I don't want to be like anyone else.
And in reality, even the ones who appear most circular have little corners that stick out here and there. So why in the world are we trying to fit in circles that weren't made for us? Even preschoolers know that doesn't work.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Many voices, one sweet sound
I have noticed a trend in a lot of the music I like: the more vocals, the better.
Most of my favorite bands have more than one lead singer. I've mentioned my love of the band downhere more times than I care to count. They have two lead singers, who happen to be two of the greatest singers I've heard in my life.
I've been a die-hard dcTalk fan for as long as I can remember, and they had three voices going for them (the great Kevin Max being one of them, rounding out my top three favorite male vocalists, Marc and Jason of downhere having the privilege of holding the other two slots).
I've been an Audio Adrenaline fan just about as long as I've been a fan of dcTalk, and while they started out with one lead singer, before all was said and done, Tyler Burkham started sharing the lead responsibility with Mark Stuart. And while I have a lot of sentiment attached to their early music (the days when Mark was the sole lead) and for me sentiment usually wins over everything, I have to say that the stuff they made in their later years gives my sentimental feelings a run for their money. The first time I heard "Leaving 99," which is lead by Tyler, I promptly declared that it was my favorite Audio A song ever. So as great as they were in the beginning, and as much as I love Mark, I think they did improve with the extra vocals.
Family Force 5 is another example, with Soul Glow, Phatty and Crouton trading off. I love those guys. Their music is some of the most unique I've ever heard and I have so much fun listening to them.
Caedmon's Call is another good example. I'm not as familiar with all their music as I would like to be, but I know that they always have a lot of people involved and I love everything I've ever heard from them.
A few more examples are Eisley, Bodies of Water, Newsboys, PFR, Jonas Brothers. And although I don't listen to them as much anymore, I used to listen to ZOEgirl, Avalon and FFH quite a lot.
I'm also a sucker for a good choir. Which is why I'm in a choir. Even if I wasn't singing (which is unlikely to happen), I would still want to go to choir practice and just sit and listen and I'd be content. It's one of the greatest sounds I've heard in my life.
Furthermore, I always get really excited when people in the industry collaborate with each other. Everyone, including me, makes fun of stuff like "We Are the World," but if I'm to be honest, I really get into stuff like that. Makes me want gather everyone in a circle and sing "Friends." Good times.
Also, these guys don't sing, but I really get into Grits. Rap is not typically my favored genre of music, but those guys are some of the few that make me really like it.
There are clear exceptions to this rule. There are plenty of good bands who just have one lead singer. Jars of Clay and Switchfoot have been two of my longtime favorites. I also have to mention The Wedding, Mute Math, Third Day, The Elms, just to name a few. But still the majority of bands that constitue my favorite music, and most certainly my top two favorite, are bands that have multiple vocalists.
This says nothing of solo artists. Some of my most favorite music comes from solo artists, but solo artists, like the term suggests, are solo. That's a whole different story. Bands are not solo, however. They are groups of people making music together on a regular basis, and I think they're generally stronger when more than one person in that group lends their voice to the music.
Most of my favorite bands have more than one lead singer. I've mentioned my love of the band downhere more times than I care to count. They have two lead singers, who happen to be two of the greatest singers I've heard in my life.
I've been a die-hard dcTalk fan for as long as I can remember, and they had three voices going for them (the great Kevin Max being one of them, rounding out my top three favorite male vocalists, Marc and Jason of downhere having the privilege of holding the other two slots).
I've been an Audio Adrenaline fan just about as long as I've been a fan of dcTalk, and while they started out with one lead singer, before all was said and done, Tyler Burkham started sharing the lead responsibility with Mark Stuart. And while I have a lot of sentiment attached to their early music (the days when Mark was the sole lead) and for me sentiment usually wins over everything, I have to say that the stuff they made in their later years gives my sentimental feelings a run for their money. The first time I heard "Leaving 99," which is lead by Tyler, I promptly declared that it was my favorite Audio A song ever. So as great as they were in the beginning, and as much as I love Mark, I think they did improve with the extra vocals.
Family Force 5 is another example, with Soul Glow, Phatty and Crouton trading off. I love those guys. Their music is some of the most unique I've ever heard and I have so much fun listening to them.
Caedmon's Call is another good example. I'm not as familiar with all their music as I would like to be, but I know that they always have a lot of people involved and I love everything I've ever heard from them.
A few more examples are Eisley, Bodies of Water, Newsboys, PFR, Jonas Brothers. And although I don't listen to them as much anymore, I used to listen to ZOEgirl, Avalon and FFH quite a lot.
I'm also a sucker for a good choir. Which is why I'm in a choir. Even if I wasn't singing (which is unlikely to happen), I would still want to go to choir practice and just sit and listen and I'd be content. It's one of the greatest sounds I've heard in my life.
Furthermore, I always get really excited when people in the industry collaborate with each other. Everyone, including me, makes fun of stuff like "We Are the World," but if I'm to be honest, I really get into stuff like that. Makes me want gather everyone in a circle and sing "Friends." Good times.
Also, these guys don't sing, but I really get into Grits. Rap is not typically my favored genre of music, but those guys are some of the few that make me really like it.
There are clear exceptions to this rule. There are plenty of good bands who just have one lead singer. Jars of Clay and Switchfoot have been two of my longtime favorites. I also have to mention The Wedding, Mute Math, Third Day, The Elms, just to name a few. But still the majority of bands that constitue my favorite music, and most certainly my top two favorite, are bands that have multiple vocalists.
This says nothing of solo artists. Some of my most favorite music comes from solo artists, but solo artists, like the term suggests, are solo. That's a whole different story. Bands are not solo, however. They are groups of people making music together on a regular basis, and I think they're generally stronger when more than one person in that group lends their voice to the music.
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